Oh my god I think I just realized some hilarious Patches nonsense… will explain what I mean based on how I’ve followed his, uh, for lack of a better term, quest line, so far.
- To follow Patches from the beginning…
After the shenanigans with the warp chest in Murkwater Cave, Patches will move to a little patch of land jutting out of the non-poisonous swamp in Liurna of the Lakes. He’s really happy to see you again!
- A curious tale he will tell you when he is at Liurna of the Lakes…
Patches will tell you about iron virgins, the creepy horrifying mechanical torture machines that can capture people inside of them. Specifically, he’ll tell you that there is an abandoned iron virgin that can be found below the giant water wheel of the Academy of Raya Lucaria. He also says that this iron virgin is unique, in that if it captures you, it will actually whisk you away to the foot of the Erdtree, which, for someone like the player character, would probably save a lot of time! All you have to do is intentionally allow yourself to be violently forced into the inside of a horrible torture machine.
It depends on what you consider lying. This particular iron virgin WILL capture you into its torture chamber, and it WILL whisk you away to a distant locale. However, unless the Erdtree is actually a horrible underground torture dungeon, unfortunately, you’re not at the foot of the Erdtree but a horrible underground torture dungeon! Oh no!! Who could have predicted this terrifying turn of events?? If you can progress through this little mini-dungeon and beat the boss which is two iron virgins, you figure out that you’re not at the foot of the Erdtree, but in the underbelly of Volcano Manor.
- I didn’t run into Patches for a while after that…
…but when I did, it was when I started to look around in Volcano Manor. Turns out Patches will join Volcano Manor. In fact, he’ll even tell you that he has, as if you would wonder or find it unlikely for him to do so.
It took me a bit to connect the dots here, but I think I realize how someone like Patches would both know about the iron virgin as well as have ended up in Volcano Manor.
