A bit over 8 years ago, I had finished library school but was having trouble finding a job. I was getting generally really frustrated with things and wanted to do SOMETHING to channel that frustration. I had the idea to make an RPG Maker game based on what I was feeling called “Unemployment Quest” where you would equip resumes and cover letters and do battle with online application forms and your own sense of shame and despair. I was always kind of enamored by stories of the early days of game development where folks like Richard Garriot could make a simple little dungeon-crawl game, sell it in plastic baggies, and somehow end up a major success. So even though physical media was already passe, I wanted to make CD-ROM versions to sell at an artist alley of a convention. I wasn’t doing too hot financially, so I made a Kickstarter with the hope that I could at least cover the cost of a run of discs.
The game ended up being way more successful than I thought would be possible and ended up getting written up in places like US News and World Report and Destructoid.
Unfortunately, a lot of people were really upset at the idea of someone making money off an RPG Maker game, especially since I was just using the including visual assets and I got trolled in a way I totally wasn’t used to. Since the game was so personal for me the trolling really got under my skin.
That paired with the fact that the game is such a personal encapsulation of my mindset 8 years ago make me cringe when I revisit it in any way, even just writing this post. I’m maybe more than a little embarrassed by it. But I am kind of proud of the fact that my little RPG Maker game found an audience, made some money, and exists in the world on physical media that’s more stable than a CD-R.
And I figure I should share my rhythm game pride/shame because before the Covid-19 pandemic put my arcade trips on hiatus, I’d play DDR and Beatmania IIDX multiple times a week. I used to think I was good at DDR because I could clear MAX 300 but then I found out that the hardcore players consider that song too easy to even serve as a warmup. At the start of the year I was kind of comfortable playing level 16 songs, though after my several-month long break I doubt I could clear an 11 without huffing and puffing. But I try to keep the community at an arm’s length aside from a couple personal friends becuase it gives me anxiety to hear people saying things like “ugh, I can’t believe I got GREATS on a song that’s only a level 15, I suck” when I’m all “I consider even PASSING a level 15 to be an accomplishment and full comboing it beyond what I can even dream of”
I don’t feel embarrassed by IIDX because everyone who plays that game understands it’s absolutely a brutal struggle and being able to play it at all takes dedication.
