Also sorry if this is an overly weird or forward thing to say but I like seeing you around here @Reverse Kaiser. You’re obviously not shy about having experienced a lot of pain and that you experience a lot of struggles, so, I suppose it’s not forward of me to respond to that. Mostly though, I respect that you put it the fuck out there and make other people deal with the (comparatively microscopically minor) burden of knowing about it.
I guess one way I feel about this sort of thing and also a part of why I felt compelled to make this thread was because I find it frustrating that there this titanic amount of pressure in most of the English speaking world that I know of to minimize and conceal pain or suffering or struggle in most social environments. The gaslight-y disingenuous reasoning behind this particular social more is that we want to respect people’s privacy and to let them share only what they want to share, but, like, I think we all know that is fucking bullshit. You really can’t actually share who you really are or what you’re actually going through or have gone through in 99.99% of social situations, not even because it will just harsh the vibes, but like, people will actually go out of their way to retaliate against you or punish you for being honest or for needing help, and that’s barely an exaggeration. It’s like the stock English speaking world’s reaction to being confronted with someone else’s pain is blaming how uncomfortable that interaction is on the person who expressed how they actually feel, or like their reflex to learning someone is in need is to give the bootstraps speech, like just ordering you to accept you are not in fact experiencing some kind of lack is as good as helping you. I get that most of us have very little to give and the problems society tends to cause aren’t able to be solved by any old random individual (and if it is caused by or solvable by a single individual they tend to not give a fuck) but, shit, if shit was that simple and we all had access to the resources we need and the freedom to choose what we wanted to do, maybe it would be that simple. But in this society where people fucking die routinely from getting a tooth abscess or rationing insulin (a drug whose patent was sold for $1 a fucking century ago), you’d think there’d be a wider understanding of just how humiliating it is to be a person who feels they need to break social taboos and critique society due to it having harmed them immeasurably.
Like, fuck, there are a whole lot of people out there who maybe really should have to confront more often that the people they are physically next to in real time are people who have been profoundly harmed by individuals in their personal life or the state or a institution go about their day every day knowing the remedies they need cost more than they make in a year and the justice they deserve is such a remote possibility it might as well be impossible. But, yeah, I guess the weather is nice today! And I guess all of that gets harder and harder as the world descends more into shit and there is this enormous cognitive dissonance about it all, cause, fuck, we all know why it’s raining in February at about 10 degrees of latitude south of the Arctic Circle!!
…at any rate, I hope being forward and open about it is helpful for you in some way and that we can collectively continue to foster an environment where you can hang out in. This is in many ways an unlikely community and I hope you weren’t afraid to be vulnerable within it because it seemed like a place where there might be people who could relate and would listen and be accepting. No community is perfect but I think what we got here is enough people who are willing to do the work to be accepting and open minded and accommodating. Because it is work, too many so-called inclusive spaces talk a big game about this kind of shit but when shit hits the fan no one is willing to wade into the work of maintaining community. And I’ll put it out there too that I don’t think it’s hard work once you get used to doing it, but it’s work that is literally neverending since no individual is the same, which makes it a monumental responsibility.