Before I start this thread I encourage you to pick out your favorite essential oil, pour some pinot grigio or herbal tea, and play this song on loop to get the effect that these games are going for.
Otomes, or Maiden Games, are dreamy relationship sims. From the outside it might seem like it’s a dating sim about unlocking steamy scenes with your LI… but it actually does more, with less. Otomes set out to tell unconventional stories in ways that videogames rarely have the courage to do.
If you’re not familiar with the genre, you might be surprised to learn that for a game about relationships, you’re typically single for half of the story, you usually only date one person per route, and while there are decisions, they are usually very few, far between, and more impactful than they seem at first blush. All of this is intentional because the story it’s telling is fundamentally different than a dating sim like Sakura Wars is trying to tell. Otomes can be dating sims, but not all dating sims are necessarily otomes. For example, I would consider like Tokimeki Memorial Girls Side as an otome even though it’s very different than formal visual novels like Hakuoki or Code Realize, simply because it shares a lot of the themes I get into below.
Unlike dating sims that can intertwine statistical elements of RPG-like mastery toward relationships as an extrinsic reward – otomes are much more focused on the journey and the intrinsic value of interpersonal relationships. It’s not about ‘getting the girl’, it’s about ‘understanding the man’. There is an element of objectification, but the real pleasure comes from being emotionally available to let your guard down and get sensual or affected… or even experience a simulated version of the devastation and isolation that comes with loving a domestic abuser or mentally ill person. It’s still ‘just a game’ but there are emotional risks and rewards shouldered by the player, rather than just the main character avatar.
Every Otome I’ve played involves a lot of time spent on the MC alone - in her bedroom - in her head - just thinking. It’s a very radical thing for a videogame to spend around 5-10% of the total playtime literally staring at a picture of the bedroom wall and reflecting on your day. But that’s not unlike how we act in real life. Whom amongst us hasn’t come home after someone we liked noticed us, and sat on the bed just thinking about it for a while? Maybe you’re nervous before seeing someone and rehearsing how you express yourself. Or a date didn’t go well and you are starting to question things. Or even there are past traumas that we need to process in order to move forward someone you like. These easily forgotten ‘in between’ moments in life are what otomes are all about.
Because of that, otomes often live or die by its MC, and it straddles the line between being a first-person and third-person game. Typically, there is a character who starts out chaste and anxious about the world around her, due to serious topics like violence (such as in Piofiore), racism (such as Olympia Soiree), or simple lack of confidence (such as Nightshade). But even once she is very developed into a very empowered badass who pursues her dreams (Teuta in Bustafellows ❤️), the player sees her as both a distinct character and a stand in for real anxieties we feel in real life. They’re not there to be a blank slate audience insert necessarily, but a lens to view our ourselves and how we respond. So if you have an MC you don’t like or doesn’t act like you would, the whole thing can fall apart. In that sense I think otomes are very love it or hate it.
But the MC has to leave home at some point and venture into the world, but what she experiences is never a power fantasy. Your options are limited by fate and circumstance. You can’t romance everyone you meet, nor can you do much to steer the romances in the direction you want. There’s a narrow window where things can go right and be emotionally fulfilling… or you can end up with a bad ending where you are a victim. (These stories are definitely influenced a lot by Japanese gender dynamics and social expectations, which I won’t get into right now.) While this can be a frustrating set of limitations to work within, it encourages many playtrhroughs to experience “what would life be like if I married someone else” but in videogame format.
As for the love interests, from the outside in, it may seem like tropes of violent bad boys with unreal self-confidence to pursue you, and you might roll your eyes. But that is actually a red herring for what I think this genre is actually trying to express. Most of these games are focused on the idea that “the environment creates the man.” The worlds they inhabit are often structured around violence and ethical gray areas, where no one enforces rules for how a man should behave (just like the real world). Some of the yanderes revel in the depravity, while those with a strong code of morality fight those impulses… and it’s supposed to be a difficult to tell which one is which based on your first encounters. I think not really knowing a guy until you get to know him is incredibly realistic, and most of the drama of the first half of these games is centered around this. But as we get to know the ways in which he’s fighting against the world around him, and his own motivations and weaknesses, that’s when we fall deeper for him and those questions we sat alone with get answered in subtle ways…. or hot and heavy ways.
I still have a lot to say but this is probably enough rambling for right now. I am curious if anyone on this forum other than me plays these games and if you agree/disagree with what I think makes this genre special. I know there’s also a sub-genre elements of queer/s&m/furry/etc stuff thats not even on my radar (I’m pretty vanilla!) and I think that stuff would be interesting to learn about too. I also want to talk about some specific games and experiences I had because… wow, they can be crazy.
