For some godforsaken reason I’ve continued to push through BioShock Infinite - I guess because “narrative-driven speculative fiction ‘immersive sim’ shooter that I can play on my Switch” sounds like something I should enjoy even though I don’t - and it might honestly be the worst game I’ve ever played that was once showered in Game of the Year awards. There are so, so many stupid and offputting things about it to pick apart I don’t feel like I have the energy to even begin doing so; it’s just the most mindless, patronizing, glibly nihilistic billion-dollar game that can’t even be assed to put the most basic thought and effort into making the world it’s spent all these art assets on feel like an actual place populated by human beings (dead eyed exposition-shrieking Oblivion NPCs don’t react to you walking around with a gun drawn, digging fresh pineapples and unused first aid kits out of the trash can in the women’s restroom, or snatching their purses/wallets right in front of them), or put an ounce of imagination into making its actual game mechanics fun - forget kineticism or tactics or skill, the ability to point a virtual cursor at a virtual humanoid and press a button to make them scream and die is just presented as a reward unto itself as the game bombards you with the most repellent imagery it can find (5,000 different types of IRL racist iconography, new and exciting renditions of chunky Unreal 3 faces/gore) to impress upon you the profound message that Society Sucks, Man, before presenting you again and again with a “choice” that affects nothing and then making absolutely sure you noticed your choice was an illusion by having characters talk about how Choice Is an Illusion. Just bleak, nasty shit.
bwood Important to note Valkyria Chronicles has absolutely nothing to do with Valkyrie Profile beyond also being a JRPG.
