(I wanted to write about weird flawed games I love like Shenmue II or TWEWY or a deepcut like Gurumin that I never shut up about to my AAA gamer friends but instead my brain brought me to my time in college when I wouldn’t shut up about Guild Wars 2 to anyone who was MMO-curious/cautious. also just wanna say, I’ve been stressing writing lately so it has really been really a joy for me to devote drops of time this week to this lovely no stakes creative space of good vibes. big ups y’all <3 )
not putting up a fight when the dream is torn away
-or-
how to break up with guild wars 2
in my dreams I am still born from vines and unjaded
by the notion of community.
the winds still bounce at a wrist’s crinkle.
a neon orb still flushes the color from my fears
and the smoke of my body blooms
into something I am more forgiving
of; not yet unearthed in this time/place/reality.
I still have green hair. you still pretend
to be the different MMO; not yet like a square watermelon
grown in a doomed glass jar to be hammered
just so they can continue to claim you shatter the mold.
that’s the illusion of identity.
they say writing it is liberating but instead
I see a distortion of myself; a phantasm enjambed
into tiny cells but I remember
you once grew a whole forest to dance in,
under a constellation of thorns cut
from a sky that appeared limitless,
now severed for convenience.
I still think about logging on for a bit
but in separate bouquets
it is impossible to grow together.