Nobody wants to see you go hollow (parenting thread)

compositehiggs

yeso Yeah, I sometimes do explain what other people believe but I think its a relatively fine line between that and misrepresenting those beliefs as more plausible than they are.

I still resent all the times adults made bad arguments about reality, even in good faith, to me, as a child.

Usually I try to explain moral issues as clearly as I can in terms of ordinary human desires.

yeso

compositehiggs yes it’s a dilemma for sure. And just speaking for myself, I don’t really resent my parents for religious framing about this stuff, I view it more as them doing the best they could to provide support and comfort. Important caveat is that they never did any intense “you’ll go to hell if…” type of stuff

billy

yeso “grandma believes it’s actually THREE billion years!”

yeso

billy lol yes my advice is highly grandma contingent

JoJoestar

Syzygy I imagine telling the child “don’t worry, you are only going to live around 80-90” as a way to try to call him down. Not really helpful lol.

I find the idea of existentialist kids amazing, those should be cherished and protected.

compositehiggs

yeso Some versions of the truth are quite comforting, though:

All pain, fear, anxiety, etc are temporary. This is a literally true thing that is also very comforting.

yeso

Listen champ, the idea of death might sound scary, but by the time you hit 35 give or take, unceasing annihilation won’t seem so bad!

yeso

I suppose, but those explanations lack meaning, which is difficult for a kid brain to stitch together

Wasn’t making fun of you above just to be clear, just dumb-joking to myself

pasquinelli

my daughter had mortality fears when she was little. i don’t think there’s anything that can be said. i tried to just talk to her like i’d talk to an adult expressing the same feelings. on this subject, adults don’t have anything over kids.

on a few times later on, when she didn’t get something she wanted, she’d start crying and asking, “why do i exist?” again, who can’t relate?

yeso

that rocks lol

Rudie

Are there any good 1yo books that won’t make me tear my head off? Chila Chika Boom Boom is horrendously lazy.

Brown Bear Brown Bear is great.

Like the Japanese books I have are like Stripes are fun, a bear cooks pancakes, animals are soft.

Most English Children’s books seem to be extremely lazy gibberish sounds or like a Bird has to go to the bank to finance a boat.

fridgeboy

Rudie

a Bird has to go to the bank to finance a boat

I don’t know that sounds like an awesome children’s book.

My favorites for kids that age were Sandra Boynton’s books - Hippos Go Berserk and But Not the Hippopotamus were standouts for my kiddos.

Another is Chris Haughton, we liked Shh I have a Plan and Little Owl Lost

Jon Klassen’s I Want My Hat Back is great and has a kind of dark humor to it. I think that’s the only book of his we have but I’ve heard his other stuff is similarly great.

tapevulture

Rudie agree on Sandra Boynton. Some of the Maisy books by Lucy Cousins have been adapted for very young children. Maisy’s Bus was one my son connected with very young. think he was 2 or so at the time.

we also have some of Taro Gomi’s books. My Friends is a good one

billy

The Day Louis Got Eaten gave my 1yo a robust (and adorable) understanding of the word ‘unfortunately’, and is a neat story about being eaten by monsters and how one would be rescued from such a situation.

thebryanjzx90

1 is probably just a little early but the Piggy and Gerald books and then a little later the Pigeon books (both series by Mo Willems) were always a hit.

fridgeboy

thebryanjzx90 we loved piggy and Gerald too! My older daughter’s favorite from about 4-7.

billy

tapevulture My daughter loves Maisy’s Bus! Lucy Cousins is pretty much fantastic without exception. We also like Peck Peck Peck.

tapevulture

billy have a vivid memory of my son loudly guffawing at Peck Peck Peck

antillese

Parenting Chat
I once read that an adult’s “parental satisfaction” as a reported psychological metric just craters once kids reach 1 or so because the kid’s can clearly express their own personality and independence from their parent’s choices. Even the fact that when your kid is an infant, you pick out what they wear, and when they get to that range, they have some very strong opinions about what shirt they want to wear and that is a new experience for parents. I don’t really have much advice beyond, pick your battles. We generally let our kids wear whatever they wanted as long as it was safe and clean. It’s a way that your kids get to express their identity at a small age, and they do it every single day. So you may be yelled at one time less per day! (No promises on that.)

Food Chat
My kids basically only eat frozen pancakes for breakfast which is great because they can heat them up themselves (with help from the older ones). My wife makes 2-3 huge batches a week.

Book Chat
We have amassed a giant collection of children’s picture books and readers over the years by going to local library liquidation sales. I recommend it. Yeah, your kids will take home whatever Branded Character Name book they see, but you’ll be able to pick out a few that you wouldn’t normally get.

I’m a big fan of “Click Clack Moo: Cows that Type” and anything else by Doreen Cronin.
I’m also partial to pretty much anything by Cynthia Rylant. Her “Mr. Putter and Tabby” series are good early reads and feature elderly humans normally living their lives which is refreshing in media in general.

My young elementary kids really like the “Dragon Masters” early chapter book series as well as the “Rainbow Fairy” series. Look, they are trash books, but the kids love them and I have made them palatable to read out loud by doing voices. If anyone asks, the source of the goblin voices in the rainbow fairy books are from an old TV show about a guy named Bevis… and uh… Bevis’ friend.

I read The Hobbit out loud to my oldest son last summer which was both fun and difficult. Reading Tolkien is tricky because his choice of word order is just different enough to constantly trip up an American English speaker. Any you can just skip “Roverrandom” also by Tolkien. It’s a little-known kids book and it’s little-known because it’s just not any good.

pasquinelli

antillese have some very strong opinions about what shirt they want to wear

my son wore an all white tuxedo and top hat to his first day of first grade. he’s a born cosplayer, loves putting a character on, loves the attention. i hate it, but life is suffering ;)

that reminds me, one time he walked into the street in front of a moving car without looking. he probably wasn’t in any danger, but i snatched him back to the curb and scolded him about looking where he’s going. he’s the type of kid that argues with anything you say, and in the course of the argument i said, “i’m your dad, i don’t care if you’re happy, i care that you’re safe.” it’s one of the few times my unconscious mind has just spilled out of my mouth completely unfiltered and surprised me. i think about it a lot.

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