an open letter to microsoft and god

This happened: I booted my computer and it finished an update.

I use this computer to use one app, Chrome, to use one site, Google Docs.

Sometimes I open a second tab and Google synonyms.

There are no icons on my desktop besides Chrome and the Recycle Bin.

But when my computer was updated, I saw this: the Microsoft Edge icon invited itself to both my desktop and my taskbar.
Then of its own accord on a machine I thought was mine Microsoft Edge helped itself to my ram and my processing power and my electricity and it launched itself.

It was desperate.
It wanted love.
It was so convinced I would love it it hid parts of itself; there was no X button, no option to minimize.
It bared itself to me, fully, full screen.

Even with a right click to the newly self-pinned taskbar icon, while ostensibly offering me the option to "close window" Edge was so saddened, so shocked that I would rid myself of it it simply refused.

I alt-tabbed.
The spectre remained.

Mousing over to the "show desktop" sliver on my now invaded and occupied taskbar I saw my now invaded and occupied desktop.
The intruder Edge glared at me.
I right-click deleted it.
"Are you so sure?" Windows asked me. "Are you so sure? To delete that requires the high-ranking authority of--" (it whispered this solemnly to me now) "--an Admin. Are you an Admin? Please prove it to me. Please."
It was gone.
The window remained open on my taskbar, still refusing to right-click close.
But at least the dektop icon was gone.

It had needed Admin approval to leave.
But which Admin approved its arrival?

Far off some lead of leads of the "Download Chrome" browser realized I, personally, was not just their customer but also a fool; this computer which I thought was mine and which I thought I used for only one app and one site was destined for so much more: true love, Microsoft Edge.

I opened the task manager.
I pulled back the hammer.
I pulled the trigger.
I ended the task.

Mircosoft Edge was now dead, my computer now safe.
But how did Edge break into my house in the first place?

Am I not to be trusted with what icons I put on my own desktop, my own taskbar?
Are which applications I choose to use on my computer not my decision to make?
What, I ask, gives?
Who decided that was an okay thing to do?
Is this really their ideal machine, an OS of obtrusion, whose programs open not by a user's consenting click but by corporate mandate?
Is this your art? Your life?
Is your aim a better world, the democratization of power, of love, of education, and of information?
Or did you just want to trick elderly mothers and young children into using a different Chromium-based web browser, in some sad hope to increase some internal user figure within the 301,300,000,000 dollar company that owns the most popular desktop OS in the world?

This is our world.
I'm saddened by it.

Congratulations on TikTok.

I'm not going to disagree with you. But in a world where a lot of enterprise software still requires IE to function, Chromium-based Edge is a massive upgrade.

Ah, this is about how I feel any time microsoft takes over my computer to install “exciting new features” that I have to click away before ignoring forever. Paint 3D! Thank goodness I have that.

The latest excellence was when I bought my mother a new PC, and windows got confused in the middle of an update, corrupted itself, got stuck in a loop, and ultimately irrevocably ruined itself.

@Syzygy#4008 I‘m off to install the Windows Subsystem for Linux. That’s what you meant right? Be right back!

@antillese#4004 Yeah, I use Edge on my living room PC since it‘s the only way for me to get 1080p on a lot of streaming services. It’s pretty okay!


@Syzygy#4008 Move to *nix.

Yeah f'real. If all you use is Chrome and Google docs transitioning to Linux is gunna be painless. Put an ISO on a USB and try it out.

(Though I guess if you don't like the super user / regular user distinction you might not like it either)

Hahahaha, well said! TBF, I think the new Edge is actually kinda ok… but I had the exact same reaction when I got this update. It’s so disconcerting to have your computer taken over by an unwanted entity.

@Blrb#4032 I‘ve been a little curious about Linux for a while. I’ll look into it! Are there big benefits to Linux besides avoiding Microsoft?

Price, smugness at running an industrial grade OS on a consumer machine, and the ability to compile your own OS. :laughing: I generally recommend against it. Mac’s OSX is the best Linux.

But this is a Microsoft thread. Remember when they got Sega to put a big ole “Windows CE” logo on the Dreamcast? Good times!

@zodiko#4039 My reasons for using it are primarily political. But nice side-benefits for me are customisability, package managers, easy access to GNU tools for processing text files (I take lots of notes), Windows-only stuff mostly works if I need it to (mostly Foobar2000, Steam games), tiling window managers, …

I dual-booted for a half-year, then ditched Windows entirely over a few years ago, and haven't regretted it once. Unless you need Adobe stuff I reckon it's ace!

But yeah, grab a 'live cd' of [Ubuntu]( / [Mint]( / [Elementary]( or whatever takes your fancy, and you can try it without installing.

Don't need to worry over choosing a distro, it's always easy enough to change later.

I recently did a full rebuild of my PC (shoutout to Ryzen) and this very thing with Edge made me mad enough that I switched from Arch Linux being my laptop OS to being the only thing I use. Proton has gotten good enough that the only thing you'll miss out on is some games with over-excited anticheat measures.

Plus I live out in the country and my power goes out semi-frequently, which has in the past corrupted system files on Windows because that thing just updates whenever it feels like it.

I've been using Linux for \~10 years now. Generally my reasoning for using it is that Windows just kinda sucks at most things. If you're like me and you like to be able to make things work exactly how you want them to work, Linux has a really robust ecosystem of tools that let you do that. It's also super easy to maintain by comparison. There's really no need to go track down installers from sketchy websites on Linux, the package manager handles updates for everything. If you are weird and picky and willing to spend some time figuring out how things work, Linux can be a lot of fun and a very rewarding experience.

In the past it's been the case that gaming on Linux was basically impossible, but with the recent advances in DirectX reimplementations it's been observed that some games (like [Red Dead Redemption 2!]( run better on Linux through all the compatibility stuff than they do natively on Windows. This trend is expected to continue as streaming services like Stadia are all running Linux on the backend. It's worth giving it a shot as long as you're not tied down to Windows-only software that doesn't run well through Wine, but even then some people use virtual machines with GPU passthrough to get more-or-less bare-metal performance running Windows and Linux at the same time.

I recently watched a video on the Microsoft Kin. A stellar example in microsoft's…uh…decision making.

TLDR they bought the company that made the Sidekick, tried to launch a smartphone without smartphone features, then discontinued the product 48 days after launch and like $1 billion invested

I think the only microsoft products I've liked are
1) Xbox Adaptive Controller
2) Original Xbox
3) Zune HD

This is reminding me how I bought a phone for $100 back in the mid-2000s and was like “this is the most money I'll ever spend on one of these”

@“exodus”#p4007 [upl-image-preview url=//]

Don't bad talk Paint 3D!