Iāve ate so much pizza out of the garbage
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Their model isnāt as much āall you can eatā as it is āall you care to eat.ā
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England, roadside rest stop, early 90ās at a location called Happy Eater (whose logo is rather ironic)
I had eaten my fair share of American school lunch pizza up to this point, but this was like: crumbly bread, dry cheese, not even sweet ketchup. Horrible, just horrible. Even slapping together scraps in my kitchen I have made better.
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A thorough take on Ciciās Pizza
Iāve had loads of bad pizza, from pizza bagel bites to frozen to delivery from āproperā restaurants. The worst in recent memory I believe I mentioned on the podcast. It was one of those pizza places where there are 8 ābusinessesā operating out of one spot that actually makes all of it, and they keep changing the name and fudging their location so you will think a new place opened up once their reviews get too bad. Anyway, the one time we got fooled by that the pizza was cold, not fully cooked (some raw dough even), inexplicably sweet, oily, with cheese that tasted of nothing. Itās the only pizza Iāve ever thrown away.
(oh yes I also got mildly ill even though I only ate one slice)
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The two most memorably bad pizzas that Iāve had; one was from a takeaway place in my city called Chicago Bulls that I had in 2014. This abomination had a huge crust, was super dry and cardboard, and had very little cheese but by far worst of all the meat was undercooked!
The other worst one I had was in Paris in 2007. The base was still doughlike, the sauce was separating from itself and was watery, and it wasnāt a particularly pleasant experience at all. I ended up spending the rest of the day in my room being sick! Thanks.
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A post was merged into an existing topic: Ep. 362 - Official Mario Bong, with Mathew Kumar
One time my grandpap tried to cook a Red Baron pizza on a gas grill. It was burnt in some spots, underdone in other; it was a wild mess.
I heard this in a YouTube video recently and it felt accurate to me: the pizza novice judges the pizza top-down. They care most about the toppings, then the cheese, then the sauce and crust. The pizza aficionado, by contrast, judges it bottom-up. The crust is by far the most important part, then the sauce, then the cheese and toppings need to just not get in the way. I thought that was interesting and mostly true. All about that nice crust.
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At a work function once they asked all of us what we wanted to order, and 70% of attendees said they wanted vegan pizza. Unfortunately the pizza place didnāt understand how to make an appealing vegan pizza, and so sent over five crusts with a small amount of sauce and a layer of broccoli and red onionsāroasted but not otherwise dressed, seasoned, whateverāon top.
At the end of the event almost all the vegan pizza was uneaten, so I, having myself not eaten any of it and at that time always on the hunt for free food, took it home (five boxes). The crust wasnāt bad but everything else was. I threw most of it away.
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what i discovered through eating dreadful kebab shop pizza fairly often in my student years is that sometimes the places with the foulest mystery meat toppings could usually put out a serviceable margarita. thereās no hiding it, they are frozen deep dish bases but iād take one of those over the āwood fired neapolitanā style places that give you red water on thin raw dough with scant anything else on top. sometimes those places have the brass knackers to put a basil leaf on there. that plant deserves better.
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After a conference I had been to, I had some time before going to the airport and I was hungry. So I explored and found a āpizzaā place. The warning signs?
- They also sold chicken (but not with any sense of specialization or care; this wasnāt a pizza and wings place or a place proud of its drummies or anything)
- They only sold personal sized pizzas
- That day was their last day of operation
- After I ordered, their method of cooking was basically putting it in a tiny oven
What came out was at least an order of magnitude worse than the Pizza Hut personal pizzas they sell sometimes at university dining halls. The cheese tasted funky and was rubbery. The bread was most minimally cooked. Iād done goofed up.
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The adult in me knows that Hot Dog Pizza can only be bad pizza but I am really just a six year old in a 33 year old body so almost always whenever I order pizza it is Hot Dog Pizza. However, when an Italian is present I will restrain myself and order something that doesnāt disrespect their amazing food culture.
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Except times where the place I ordered from screwed up (once got a sauceless pizza), Iām not actually sure Iāve ever had bad pizza. Iāve had pizza that is less good than other pizza, but never to the point where I would say itās bad or that I refused the pizza. Maybe I am just easy to please.
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The worst pizzas Iāve probably had were all from frozen growing up and I attribute that to my mom overcooking everything but Iāve still instinctually avoided buying frozen pizzas with my groceries as an adult. Maybe I should buy some and repair my relationship (with the pizza I mean).
I once got a personal pie from this place up the street from my last apartment. This town doesnāt have the foot traffic to support slices even when advertisedāthey are either not available or extremely staleāso paying extra for a whole personal-sized pizza was not my first choice. It was some kind of margherita but the topped area was like shrunken and the crust went way beyond what should be allowable surface area for crust. And the sauce was dry. It fucking sucked and I was angry because it wasnāt cheap.
The best pizza I had in Toronto was a puttanesca that the place I got it from took off their menu. Hard to talk about bad pizza without also talking about good pizza, sorry lol. Iāve had a lot of pizzas in TO besides where the toppings were singed as shit or they were mediocre in some other way.
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Also: Hawaiian pizza is good, actually, but easy for me to get sick of. Iāve known a few people who will order it regularly and Iām likeā¦ again? Meat lovers is the same thing, but maybe worse because of all the salt it adds. Big fan of vegetables on pizza right here.
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I put it with the description as here itās known as a Napolitaine, which I know describes a style of pizza more than the toppings themselves. But it was the same style of pizza so as you can imagine it was amazing.
Iād share a slice or two with you of course, because us anchovy eaters have to stick together. Mostly as those that donāt avoid us!!
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I canāt believe youāve never told me this. And also, most fucked up American guy Iāve ever heard. What do you mean āitās easier than decidingā? What kind of screwed up gremlin logic is that? Does this man-shaped goblin eat pizza with only tomato sauce on the regular? This should be criminal.
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Iām surprised I apparently havenāt told you that story, because I feel like Iāve told it alot.
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I am fuming just thinking about this guy now. The real question is if youāve actually had Chicago style pizza if there is nothing on it.
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Thatās a sociopathās opinion, change my mind.
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