Ep. 234 - Come Play, My Laggardly Sort, with Kris Graft

### Ep. 234 - Come Play, My Laggardly Sort, with Kris Graft

The Tarnished [Kris Graft](https://twitter.com/krisgraft) takes his spot on the panel to cover bloodwritten OSHA violations, snipers, and syphilitic electrocution revival. Hosted by Alex Jaffe, with Tim Rogers, Brandon Sheffield and Kris Graft. Edited by Esper Quinn, original music by Kurt Feldman.


**Questions this week:**

  • 1. [Andrés Velasco y Coll](https://twitter.com/nothingxs) asks: When did Konami go bad? (07:39)
  • 2. Kris Graft, what did you do to get fired from Game Developer? (14:28)
  • 3. Which NPCs deserve a promotion to playable characters? (21:13)
  • 4. Do negative status effects make a game more interesting, or just annoying? (27:34)
  • 5. Improv Zone: Elden Ring Political Debate (33:20)
  • 6. Dirtbag Gaagaagiins asks: What are some games that would be improved by the removal of their headline feature? (38:55)
  • 7. Violence Island (47:50)
  • **LIGHTNING ROUND:** This or That (01:05:22)

    Recommendations and Outro (01:20:31)


  • - [Target](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Target_Corporation)
  • - [La Nueva Charreada](https://www.lanuevacharreada.com/)
  • - [Seinfeld](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098904/)
  • - [Rasputin Music](http://www.rasputinmusic.com/)
  • - [CRIMESIGHT](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1491710/CRIMESIGHT/)
  • - [428: Shibuya Scramble](https://www.mobygames.com/game/428-shibuya-scramble)
  • - [P.T.](https://www.mobygames.com/game/playstation-4/pt)
  • - [Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain](https://www.mobygames.com/game/metal-gear-solid-v-the-phantom-pain)
  • - [Guillermo del Toro](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0868219/)
  • - [Crimson Peak](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2554274/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_15)
  • - [Chrysler PT Cruiser](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysler_PT_Cruiser)
  • - [Castlevania: Advance Collection](https://www.mobygames.com/game/castlevania-advance-collection)
  • - [Contra: Rogue Corps](https://www.mobygames.com/game/contra-rogue-corps)
  • - [Minority Report (2002)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181689/)
  • - [Brandon Sheffield’s reported net worth](https://peopleai.com/fame/identities/brandon-sheffield)
  • - [Cortana](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortana_(Halo))
  • - [Weapon Shop de Omasse](https://www.mobygames.com/game/weapon-shop-de-omasse)
  • - [Dragon Warrior / Dragon Quest series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/dragon-warrior-dragon-quest-series)
  • - [Papers, Please](https://www.mobygames.com/game/papers-please)
  • - [Elder Scrolls series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/elder-scrolls-series)
  • - [Red Dead Redemption II](https://www.mobygames.com/game/red-dead-redemption-ii)
  • - [Yakuza / Ryū ga Gotoku series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/yakuza-ry-ga-gotoku-series)
  • - [Judgment / Judge Eyes series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/judgment-judge-eyes-series)
  • - [Final Fantasy IV](https://www.mobygames.com/game/final-fantasy-ii_)
  • - [Fallout games](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/fallout-games)
  • - [Loop Hero](https://www.mobygames.com/game/loop-hero)
  • - [Cyberpunk 2077](https://www.mobygames.com/game/cyberpunk-2077)
  • - [Vampire Survivors](https://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/vampire-survivors)
  • - [Elden Ring](https://www.mobygames.com/game/elden-ring)
  • - [Elden Ring messages](https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Messages)
  • - [Fortnite series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/fortnite-series)
  • - [Orcs Must Die!](https://www.mobygames.com/game/orcs-must-die)
  • - [Sentry](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1252680/SENTRY/)
  • - [Death Stranding](https://www.mobygames.com/game/playstation-4/death-stranding_)
  • - [Dishonored series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/dishonored-series)
  • - [Assassin's Creed series](https://www.mobygames.com/game-group/assassins-creed-series)
  • - [PaRappa Rappa](https://parappatherapper.fandom.com/wiki/PaRappa_Rappa)
  • - [50 Cent](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/50_Cent)
  • - [Mario](https://www.mariowiki.com/Mario)
  • - [Goro Majima](https://yakuza.fandom.com/wiki/Goro_Majima)
  • - [Yakuza PS2 dub with Mark Hamill as Majima](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INgGeCuV5p4)
  • - [Lester the Unlikely](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lester_the_Unlikely)
  • - [Larry Laffer](https://leisuresuitlarry.fandom.com/wiki/Larry_Laffer)
  • - [Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin](https://metalgear.fandom.com/wiki/Yevgeny_Borisovitch_Volgin?file=Volgin_GRU..jpg)
  • - [Ash's Pikachu](https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ash%27s_Pikachu)
  • - [50 Cent forgot he had a stash of Bitcoin now worth $8m](https://www.bbc.com/news/business-42820246)
  • **Recommendations:**
    **Brandon:** [Smithereens (1982)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084698/), [tonyhax](https://orca.pet/tonyhax/), [Jun Chikuma’s](https://junechikuma.bandcamp.com/) [The Midas Touch](https://starcreatureuniversalvibrations.com/album/the-midas-touch)
    **Tim**: Don’t shave with an electric razor
    **Kris**: **[E**verything Everywhere All at Once (2022)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6710474/), older [The Simpsons](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096697/) episodes, [Dark](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5753856/)



    @“esper”#p68476 Brandon Sheffield’s reported net worth

    Holy shit Bsheffie next time we meet, you pay for the whole meal. Maybe you buy the restaurant, even.



    Brandon Sheffield was born on August 15, 1990

    Child prodigy!

    This article is even better if you read it in your head as Robin Leech.


    Many people ask about the amount of money Brandon Sheffield makes from Instagram.


    @“chazumaru”#p68479 Bsheffie

    [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/hSoJIaQ.png]


    @“esper”#p68476 Improv Zone: Elden Ring Political Debate (33:20)

    Be wary of trio
    Time for grass

    screaming “volgin literally >!dies from a thunderbolt!<” at my bluetooth speaker


    @“Jaffe”#p68490 this was about 2 days before i listened to any of the audio, mind you all

    @"rootfifthoctave"#p68508 i was really hoping for a Mario v. Pikachu match when I saw the lineup, but agree Majima would take out Mario

    I'm cancelling my patreon subscription, and let me tell you why:


    [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/nTzxdyV.jpeg]!

    @“穴”#p68515 luckily I can (apparently) carry the whole thing myself

    I really do wonder where they got this number. is it because I have a wikipedia page!?


    @“esper”#p68511 agree Majima would take out Mario

    Me too. But I like to think it would be thrilling enough for Majima that he'd end up in the Mushroom Kingdom, dressed as Lemmy Koopa, occasionally jumping out from behind a pipe shouting "YO, MARIO CHAN!"

    @Jaffe - thank you so mucha for to playing my game!

    @“穴”#p68515 We need to know why Brandon isn't buying and profiting from any of Eidos fancy IPs.


    BTW I want to make sure you all actually look at Tonyhax. It's an exploit from as far as I can tell, within the last 2 years, which is specifically for PS1, and specifically only supports games like Brunswick Circuit Pro Bowling 2 and Castrol Honda Superbike Racing. it is very neat.


    @“exodus”#p68517 I really do wonder where they got this number.

    My guess is the bot building that page found something about charity game sales for Ukraine that mentioned you and also the $36m Epic raised in a day

    @“goonbag”#p68524 oho, that's a good guess! something with my name being associated with big numbers in one of those news stories might well do it.

    I'm tempted to build an Elden Ring Message generator to help you with your Elden messages. Great segment, had me on the floor!


    @“exodus”#p68523 BTW I want to make sure you all actually look at Tonyhax.

    Hmm, that’s fascinating… I wonder how much money you make from Instagram though…

    Regarding the NPC discussion, on the topic of playing as normal inhabitants in a RPG village , this was also more or less the premise behind the **World Neverland** series, which still exists today, although the series has departed further and further from its original "_play as a nobody from the central RPG town_" concept.


    Koei’s **Taikō Risshiden** series has a bit of a similar vibe, although the goal (and its use and parody of the tropes surrounding NPC villagers) is less explicit than in World Neverland. It’s a life simulation within the end of the Sengoku era, but you can play various different roles/careers, from a small merchant to a pirate to a ninja hired by the local lord etc. The typical NPCs one would meet, use and dismiss as a feudal lord when playing Nobunaga no Yabō. The series has a small but fervent fanbase and the fifth (and so far last) episode, originally released on PC and PS2 then ported to PSP, is being remastered and released for Steam and Switch this month.


    My own answer to the question would have been **Shenmue chapter 1: Yokosuka**. Famously, it promoted the feature of "intelligent" NPC having their own life and schedule along the day, which meant you could in theory follow them through their routine and see how they interacted with the rest of the town. The demo "let’s follow Haru-san the old tobacco stand owner!" left a big impression on me at the time.


    Rather than continuing through Ryō’s quest in Hong Kong, I would have loved if Shenmue perpetually continued in Yokosuka, in a time loop but with the player switching to a different perspective in the neighborhood, and a different end goal each time. The first game’s entire world was about three streets-wide, and with a hard four months limits (you get a game over if Ryō takes too long to hop on the boat) so it would not have been too difficult to track everyone’s possible interactions, unlike a modern Open World.

    One time you’d play a down on his luck sailor who hopes to get a (time-traveling) copy of Sega Ages Space Harrier on the Sega Saturn at the local Tomato Mart’s lottery, but shenanigans prevent you from participating each time. One time you’d play as the old crone trying to get the juicy scoop on which bored wife is cheating in the neighborhood. One time you’d play as vaguely racist stereotype Tom the capoeira master hot dog salesman, and find out he actually teaches his moves to the entire town anytime someone buys a hot dog. One time you’d play as the owner of You Arcade and need to make sure you get enough money to pay the local protection fee from shady _yakuza_. Will you negotiate with the asshole salesman from Sega who is trying to convince you to buy that super expensive Out Run game coming out soon? Or will you settle down for Gain Ground on an Aero City, at the risk of not getting enough dough at the end of the month?

    Also there is a universal "be an asshole to Ryō" button to get rid of him when he inevitably comes and pester you.


    D-O-S… I was not prepared. :face_with_spiral_eyes:

    That’s like saying N-E-S instead of Nes!

    Wonderful episode! I’d love to see a return to the question of improvement by removing features. I have often said that I would pay money to remove content from games I am otherwise enjoying.