What does a kirby shirt say about someone?
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It’s a question of degrees - I’d say somebody wearing a batman shirt has a 5% chance of being cooler than someone wearing a star wars shirt (but it depends on the shirt!). Sonic vs Mario I’d put that up to 10%!
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Either preschooler or surprisingly opinionated nerd.
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What about a shirt with the coca cola logo across the chest?
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This is gonna be long,sorry. I gotta talk about an old coworker’s weird video game opinions. At some points this seems more like, for lack of a better term, “normie” game opinions, but trust me, this goes off the rails.
I made the mistake of telling him that I liked video games and then he wouldn’t stop talking to me about them. One of the first things that he said was that he only plays first-party Sony games because they’re the only people who know how to make games anymore (despite me adamantly disagreeing). He would then go on to lament that the only games that were coming out were shooters or open-world action games and when I told him about some indie games he dismissed them because they weren’t made by Sony. He would also talk about wanting to have one of every console ever made, despite saying that only Sony is worthwhile.He was going to spend his tax return to buy a Switch but never take it out of the box.
Along these lines, despite maintaining that he was deep in the world of games, I had to tell him about the rumor that Xbox games were coming to PlayStation. I told him to google it and when he came back the next day he told me he couldn’t find anything (which would’ve been impossible). He was then pissed that it was announced officially and wasn’t Gears of War or Halo. When I said that Hi-Fi Rush, Pentiment, and Grounded were games that people loved he said “Yeah, well I’m not people!”
He also would only buy physical games, including the PS4 remasters of the Jak and Daxter series, buying each Limited Run physical edition, separately. He would also only buy from Amazon, so he paid, total, over $200 dollars for the trilogy despite it being available for a fifth the price (if that) on PSN. He told me that digital games aren’t reliable and I would tell him how most games on disc are barely on disc anyway, but he told me I didn’t know what I was talking about.
Keeping with the Sony thing, he was adamant that Naughty Dog was the greatest game studio of all time and expected me to agree despite the fact I told him I didn’t enjoy any of their games (numerous times).
He also got really pissed off after Baldur’s Gate 2 won Game of the Year at the Game Awards saying that “No one has even heard of that game!”
Here’s my favorite, and I saved the best one. He didn’t like God of War (2018), which is one of the few things I agreed with him on. I asked if was going to buy Ragnarok and he sighed and “Yeah, I gotta support Sony.”
Me: No you don’t. They have plenty of money.
Him: Yeah, but I gotta be there for them.
Me: They don’t care. They’re not keeping track of whether you’re loyal or not.
Him: Yeah, but I gotta be there for my boy Kratos.
Me: He’s not real.
Him: Yeah, but I gotta be there for this one to say I lived through it once they go back to the old-style of God of War games when they were good.
Me: [puzzled silence]
Me: What are you talking about?
Him: Well, when parents buy this game for their kids, their gonna realize it’s not as good as the games they played and they’re gonna demand Sony go back.
Me: Okay, well 1: people aren’t buying this for their kids, they’re buying it for themselves. 2: These games are more popular and successful than the original trilogy combined. If there’s any old-style games, it’s going to be a spin-off or given to an indie studio.
Him: Nah, you’ll see. They’re gonna go back, trust me.
Also, maybe the worst conversation I had with him was the night it was announced Akira Toriyama died. Unrelated, but worth it for understanding how he thinks. I had to stop looking at my phone at work, cause I was on the verge of tears every time someone brought it up, and I knew he was big into Dragon Ball Z.
Me: Well, Akria Toriyama, the guy who made Dragon Ball Z, just died, and I’m taking it kind of hard. It turns out his work meant a lot more to me than I thought.
Him: Yeah, his IP probably is worth a lot of money.
He didn’t understand why I was so upset with his response and within hours was talking up buying a box set that purported to have every single dragon ball/z/gt/kai/super episode and movie on ebay. I pointed out it was very clearly a bootleg set and he refused to believe me.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I had to get it all out.
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holy shit
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this was a wild ride and i would like to subscribe to your newsletter of future vents about this… entity and interactions with them that you endure.
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Well, he was fired for incompetence (among other things), and I quit last Halloween, so there won’t be more. I’ll give you a sample of some other things he asserted:
“August is a winter month”
“Black people don’t get bitten by spiders”(worth noting he is a black person, so it’s not as racist)
“St. Louis is the best food city in the country”
“Cryptocurrency is good”
“Most Americans are Greek Orthodox”
He truly is someone incapable of understanding the world outside of his own personal experience.
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August is a winter month though
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Not in the Northern Hemisphere.
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