Feedback Thread - Forum Community Guidelines

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@“NoJoTo”#p146142 content warnings are great, but pinning down what does and doesn’t require a content warning is difficult;

> maybe there could be a gentle push for people here to consider using them, but i also think that we can trust everyone here to generally know when a content warning is needed/appropriate.

Agreed, although, I would even say that saying what does and doesn't require a content warning is simply difficult is underselling the problem. It's not possible or practical to expect from even a moderately sized community. Triggers can be highly idiosyncratic, or even circumstantial. There is no realistic way to ensure everything one says won't potentially harm someone else at any point in time.

I guess why I think we could consider doing something like this for sexual content or terminology is because, well, sex is kind of one of those foundational human experiences and is, you know, generally well regarded, but it's also, shall we say, often the conduit through which a lot of violence gets inflicted on a whole lot of people. It's that dual nature that always makes it very tricky to manage, even within friend groups. Seems that with even a relatively small, tight-knit kind of community, there will always be people who feel very strongly about either wanting to be able to discuss it openly and without shame, and there will also be people who don't want to see it at all or at least would strongly prefer it to be strictly an opt-in kind of topic. And, in the case of minors, they should not be exposed to it by the will or negligence of the adults in the room as a matter of course... I mean, minors are exposed to sex elsewhere on the internet and there are countless way way worse places to observe adults talking about sex on the internet, but that's not an excuse to be careless.

It's that centrality and inherent polarizing character of the thing that makes me think it would be best to just have a blanket understanding to put in a small, click-length barrier to reading or seeing it. I think that's the fairest compromise for people who feel a need for the freedom to discuss or invoke it, since they can do so without fear of causing offense, and people who don't want to or shouldn't see it, since while we can't stop anyone from compulsively clicking on it and seeing whatever it might be, it gives people without that compulsion a choice in the moment.

@“Gaagaagiins”#p146150 it might help if someone created a thread (or threads) where that type of discussion could occur, so that it's less likely to spill over into other threads.

not that discussion of sex in other threads, when relevant/appropriate, should never happen, but it could maybe help clear up “where should i talk about this type of thing”

also for the record i‘d be the last person to ever discuss sex

(in case we’re ever standing awkwardly next to each other at a party and the best thing you can think to ask to break the silence is “how about that sex, huh?”)

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@“NoJoTo”#p146151 it might help if someone created a thread (or threads) where that type of discussion could occur, so that it’s less likely to spill over into other threads.

> not that discussion of sex in other threads, when relevant/appropriate, should never happen, but it could maybe help clear up “where should i talk about this type of thing”

I'd probably oppose this, just 'cause, like, I don't want to discuss sex on the forum in of itself, so much as I want to be able to make references to it during other discussions, or, well, really, to make bawdy jokes, without bothering anyone else. Having a Horny Thread just seems... icky to me. Like, there's only one person I really want to discuss sex with in 99 out of a 100 cases (Mrs. Gaagaagiins). Ain't none of y'all are her!!! And, like, if consenting adults from the insert credit forums wanted to have a Horny Discussion they could do so on discord or something. We don't necessarily need to host that.

So in our hypothetical party where we're standing next to each other, I'd certainly know to not make a ribald joke to your face, but if in the course of turning around and talking to someone else within earshot of you, if I thought of a really funny one, I'd love to be able to have you 1. not be able to hear it in the moment of me saying it 2. receive an approximate description of the nature of the joke's sexual content 3. be able to replay the audio if you so choose, since even if you don't want to have a conversation about sex, you may (or may not) still want to appreciate a joke after seeing a rough description of the nature of its sexual content (like, maybe you could appreciate a good pun on the name of genitalia).

@“Gaagaagiins”#p146155 i mean, because i‘m not the type to discuss sex, i don’t really know the nature of that type of conversation, so i don‘t really know if it’d be befitting this forum, so i'll take your word for it i guess