Let's do our own console ranking! (based entirely on how cool the name is)

Basically what the title says, this is the place where the Dreamcast can truly shine.

1.- _Dreamcast_ (Sega, 1999)
2.- _Pandora_ (OpenPandora, 2010)
3.- _Nomad_ (Sega, 1995)
4.- _Mega Drive_ (Sega, 1988)
5.- _Watara Supervision_ (Watara, 1992)

Overall I find SEGA absolutely killing it in the cool name department. _Genesis/Mega Drive_ is a weird one because of course the American name sounds more epic and apotheosic, but _Mega Drive_ just has a really cool nonsense vibe that I really like. A console that Mega Drives you to the fun, a Mega Device, basically everything a cool kid wants.

Another fun thing to note is that handhelds tend to have better, more fun and creative names, I wonder if the aspect of it being portable and having to sell that made the manufactures try to come up with something that conveys that aspect in an interesting way. _Nomad_ is the best name for a portable console we'll ever have, it's a pity that it got wasted on a weird Genesis spin-off with almost no catalog. _Mega Jet_, the Japanese counterpart also has a tremendous name, and I like it because it was specifically designed to be played in airplanes, so how could you ever name it something else than the Mega Jet!

Nintendo gets clearly the shorter end of the stick here with console names that suck tremendous ass and are mostly boring variations of slapping the name of the company with some tagline. _Super Ninendo_ because it's a Nintendo and it's super (weak, but keep talking), _Nintendo 64_ because it's 64 bits (you're losing me Jerry), _Nintendo DS_ because it's a Dual Screen (I'm falling ASLEEP). _Wii_ belongs to a subset of console names that I'd like to identify as the goofy wackos of console naming. Stuff like the _Loopy_, the _Mega Duck_ (lmao), _Gizmondo, Zeebo, Ouya_ etc. Those are silly but fun, I secretly dream of a console with an extremely stupid name that becomes super popular and gets to force people to constantly say it out loud, and who knows, maybe the _Wii_ or the _Wii U_ were exactly that!

Hate to give Nintendo so much screentime here but while it has really bad console names, the codenames for said consoles are some of the coolest, and could easily have swept this list if they kept those. Reality (N64), Dolphin (GC) and Revolution (Wii) sound awesome.

So, what do you guys think?

Nothing beats NEO•GEO. It’s almost a shame the name was taken before the arrival of native 3DCG consoles because it would have been the perfect name for PlayStation (which is a surprisingly kiddy name for a console that branded itself as cool and modern), considering how Sony’s console introduced the most basic geometry (triangles) as the new native language of video games, the evident “new generation” gap it represented, and the highbrow cultural reference of the brand – doubling as a clever echo to a contemporary artist signed to Sony Music – would have been typical Sony artsy fartsy douchebaggery. Not only that but “PlayStation” actually makes a lot of sense as a consumer-oriented rebrand of the MVS. So I never thought about it before but I kinda wish they had each other’s name.

  • 1. NEO•GEO
  • 2. PC-FX
  • 3. Game Gear
  • 4. Barcode Battler
  • 5. HiSaturn Navi
  • [size=20]WonderSwan[/size] is a name for the ages: this is a toy gods play with

    [b][size=20]Dreamcast[/b][/size] is something you jack directly into your brain to live the future in the present

    I like Saturn, Switch, and Game Boy too

    so cool that they’re all in caps:

  • 1. MEGA DRIVE
  • 2. GAMECUBE
  • 3. NEO GEO
  • 4. MASTER SYSTEM
  • 5. NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM
  • 1.-WonderSwan

    2.-Neo Geo

    3.-Master System

    4.-Dreamcast

    5.-Mega Drive

  • 1. Dreamcast
  • 2. Mega Drive
  • 3. PS2
  • 4. Loopy
  • 5. FM Towns Martin
  • I wanted to include the Wonderswan too, but here‘s the thing, if I wrote something fiction where a console appears I would want it to be something that’s called the Watara Supervision.

  • 1. Magnavox Odyssey
  • 2. FM Townes Marty
  • 3. VTech Socrates
  • 4. Bally Astrocade
  • 5. Wonderswan
  • 1. Family Computer
  • 2. Dreamcast
  • 3. Loopy
  • 4. Mega Drive
  • 5. Little Tyrant
  • Ok, now this is a console ranking I can get behind!

  • 1. Sega Dreamcast
  • 2. Nintendo **GameCube**
  • 3. Bandai **WonderSwan**
  • 4. FM Towns **Marty**
  • 5. Casio **Loopy**
  • 1) Sega Saturn - Planets are cool. Roman gods are cool. I really like Saturn as a name! It feels both science-y and occult-y. And “Sega Saturn” gives it a nice alteration.

    2) Atari Lynx - man, Lynx is a cool word just by virtue of it having both a y and x - the fact that it means a type of big cat makes it EVEN COOLER!

    3) Neo Geo - calling a console “new ground” sounds weird and lame, but Neo Geo is just super snazzy. Rhyming names are good.

    4) Vectrex - This sounds like some made up equipment in an 80s sci-fi movie. I love it!

    5) Nintendo Gamecube - Cubes are cool shapes! A Gamecube also sounds like some made up sci-fi equipment. Like you put your hand on a crystal cube to play holo-games.

    Honestly, I love the Dreamcast but I'm not super wild about the name.

    >

    @“Nemoide”#p55177 Atari Lynx

    The Lynx into Jaguar combo is fun too. It's a neat thing that one console led to the other and they went with feline names for both. What would have been Atari's next thing? The leopard, the PANTHER? Those would have been awesome names.

    @"chazumaru"#p55154 I wasn't aware of the existence of Neo Geo as an art movement, very interesting. Wasn't expecting to be schooled in a thread such as this one, but hey I accept it. You make very good points, I also would have liked to be part of this alternate timeline where the Neo Geo 5 is the console everybody wants but no one can get.

    Casio LOOPY!

    ULTRA 64

    GAME GEAR!???

    SHG BLACK POINT

    >!ZEEBO!<

  • 1. playstation is a brilliantly understated take on workstation.
  • 2. **wii u** is a cute pun and describes the asymmetric playstyle the system is built around.
  • 3. **sega mega drive** is poetry. to say it is to play a bass riff with your mouth.
  • 4. **intellivison** is similar to playstation: they both say exactly what they are in the most direct and obvious (in retrospect) way accessible to them.
  • 5. **vectrex** just sounds cool man.
  • i really wanted to put **neo●geo** on for audacity, and **neo●geo pocket** for plain directness, but i can't bring myself to kick any of the five above.

    @“captain”#p55156 shit, i didn‘t think of game boy’s twisting of walk man. i'm a dope!

    >

    @“Nemoide”#p55177 I love the Dreamcast but I’m not super wild about the name.

    yeah, me either. to me it doesn't seem to have a clear idea of what it's saying.

  • 1. XBox
  • 2. X box
  • 3. X-Box aka XBox (2013)
  • 4. XBone OneDrive for Microsoft Windows
  • 5. GameXBoy Series Three Hundred And Fifty Eight Days Over Two
  • 1. Casio Loopy

    This is very specific to me but I think about this name a lot because my first last name is remarkably similar to Casio and I've always thought my second last name* should had been Lopez instead of Garcia (two very common Hispanic last names) that way I could have a dumb username like cassioloopyz everywhere or just write my last names as Casio Loopy. And that way I wouldn't have the username crisis I'm going through right now.

    *(in Spanish speaking places people usually have two last names, one for each parent)

    _**2. FM Towns Marty**_

    I often find my self thinking about "FM Towns" and what that could possibly be if you interpret it literally.

    **_3. Super Lady Cassette Vision_**

    It sounds like the name of a mahou shoujo manga and that rules. I once considered releasing music under that name but I wasn't sure if I wanted the word cassette there lol (I tend to overthink names a lot)

    Edit: Another thing thats interesting about this console is that the Super Casette Vision (the super lady cassete vision is just the pink version) is a follow up to the 1981 Casette Vision, this means that Nintendo wasn't the first console manufacturer to just add super at the beginning of the name of their follow up console.

    **_4. Apple Pippin_**

    "What are you doing?"

    "I'm apple pippin' "

    (I'm sorry...)

    _**5. NEO GEO**_

    >

    @“穴”#p55194 Super Lady Cassette Vision

    Damn that's cool. I gotta look this thing up!

    >

    @“穴”#p55194 “I’m apple pippin’ ”

    LOL, until reading this I always put the accent on “Pippin.” I will be revising my pronunciation from now on.