Movies Talk

I saw I Saw the TV Glow tonight.

It was pretty good. I was really drawn in and impressed by We’re All Going to the World’s Fair so I was excited for this one ( especially given the soundtrack lineup and casting gumbo of alt-indie darlings, Pete & Pete, Conner O’Malley and Fred Durst (!?)).

A queer cautionary tale dealing in nostalgia and escapism. Hit pretty hard, but the acting from the main characters isn’t quite as engaging as World’s Fair, so the director’s slow presentation feels a little flat at times. I liked the abstract structure and personal specificity of the story though. Loved the soundtrack (they commissioned new songs from all of the artists for it, so cool!).

@humblepopstar I still want to see Stress Positions.

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I’m going to review the movies that people put on during the copious amounts of downtime at my new job.

It’s time for the first installment of the Gaagaagiins Movie Review Revue:

The Last Twenty Or So Minutes of The Other Guys (2010)

Looked like some total bullshit. I thought it was funny to see Steve Coogan because I was watching I’m Alan Partridge earlier that day, and they even let him tell some Coogan Lite jokes. But goddamn based on the last bit I seen, that movie sucks

Rush Hour (1998)

Pretty good. When I first saw this movie I lost my fucking shit at the line “wipe yourself off man, you dead,” but it didn’t really land this time. Although, Chris Rock was still pretty great here.

The sequences that I would describe as a Let’s Have A Bit Of Fun Scene Where The Joke Drags On Way Too Fucking Long (like when they sing War What Is It Good For) suck, but that’s a kind of scene I see a lot in bad movies. They don’t drag Rush Hour down too much though.

The First 30 or so minutes of Island of Fire (1990) before my shift ended

Looked cool enough. I’d finish watching it another time, but I’m not in a rush (hour, hehe) to do so.

The last thirty or forty minutes of that one racist movie where fuckin Sandra Bullock is a white lady who fosters/adopts a big black kid and then he plays football or something

Nauseating. Also really weirdly paced? I had no idea why the movie was ending when it was.

We’re The Millers (2013)

Pretty dogshit and nauseating in its own way but next to the dogshit above it seemed tolerable. Actually no it was really bad. Powerfully unfunny with a few okay jokes here and there. Let’s Have A Bit Of Fun Scene Where The Joke Drags On Way Too Fucking Long is like every second scene but they don’t drag on too much, they’re just not funny. I’m insufficiently damning it even with this extremely faint praise.

I now like the “you guys are getting paid?” meme less now that I know the context.

The First Twenty Or Thirty Or So Minutes of Murder Mystery (2019)

Looked pretty dogshit. You ever notice how a lot of these so called “comedies” from these ex-SNL motherfuckers (even Sandler, all these years later!) just don’t seem to have jokes written for them in advance? It’s like they write the stories and maybe a situation with humor potentially in it, but then you can tell how these motherfuckers are doing their lines that a lot of this shit is improvised on set. Which is also why so much of it is not funny. The credits from We’re The Millers all but confirms this where one big part of it is the B Roll Takes from a scene in the movie. All of the jokes were about equally mediocre tryhard bullshit. Like, come on, write the fucking movie before shooting it, if you can’t do that the movie wasn’t going to be funny either way.

At any rate, why did they tranquilize Sandler before every day of shooting? He even gets a few decently funny lines but they’re not served by the anemia of the rest of it and especially Sandler himself.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

I see why this made Eddie Murphy famous. He’s kinda like Bugs Bunny. He’s so babygirl in this movie. A lot of the ad libbing is a bit annoying, some of it is great.

Seems like a lot of it has aged kinda badly in my opinion. I’m all full up on Neo-Americana Copaganda atm though so I kinda can’t care about it rn. It also feels really fucking long even though it’s just an hour forty five.

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Gaagaagiins Movie Review Revue: LIVEBLOG EDITION

The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

Summary
  • I watched a lot of this movie on TV ages ago when I was a teen or something. I remembered it being good, so, let’s see how right I was.

  • omg Frank Sobotka in a very unfortunate bit part!

  • Baby Keanu is sooooo cute omg. Also his half assed accent is funny, but, the boy is acting a bit. Love this guy

  • New York City baby. Greatest city in da world

  • omg he’s Gerald Stanleying the jury. I think this guy is not very nice

  • there’s Big Al… There he fucking is

  • I don’t even care if this movie is actually bad after all but this is such a funny premise for a movie lol.

  • what the hell is Big Al’s office. What the hell

  • Big Al is fucking CHOMPING on the set scenery here. Wow. Just taking every line here like a death rolling gator with some red meat

  • wow I am very acrophobic. Can you guys please get away from the edge of this roof? Idc if you’re the devil, I’m very scared just watching this

  • Bro is moving into the Company Condo. His boss really is the devil

  • Big K with the jeans and suit jacket. Also earlier I loved his Atticus Finch ass summer suits

  • my boy Phillipe Moyez did nothing wrong. #FreePhillipe #HailSatan

  • Big Al had fun with this script. Oh my god he’s speaking Canto now wtf. This is hilarious.

  • Donny From Queens Mentioned

  • inspired choice to make Al Pacino playing The Law Firm Devil a big ol’ slut. Oh fuck now he’s speaking Italian. Now Russian! NOW KOREAN. now he’s horny again.

  • subtle, with the red lighting! Tasteful

  • Al Pacino: you know how this town works! Me: yeah yeah buddy. New York City baby. Greatest city in da world

  • manslut devil lawyer Al Pacino was right. Charlize Theron looked great with that short hairdo

  • yes let’s introduce a baby into this situation. That always works

  • I gotta say that the rate at which this movie is introducing the supernatural elements is great. Also this is a really weird sex scene and that’s also great. HAHA I SEEN KEANU’S BUM. Great music for this.

  • and Big Al is back with a total baddie on each arm. Ok this movie officially rules.

  • #Foreshadowing in the elevator

  • ooooh my god his horny little tongue flick. Who told Al to go so hard on this one. Doesn’t he know he’s starring opposite Keanu Fuckin Reeves in 1997? What a guy

  • loving (well, you know, “loving”) this 1997 Hollywood Racism of associating the devil with … Uuuhh… Flamenco dancing? Beautiful

  • Big Slutty Al got a Blowie under the fucking table at the Spanish supper club? What da hell

  • Miss Theron with the impotent Hollywood housewife kitchen knife wielding. Watching this, it feels hard to believe she’s gonna be Furiousa someday. Good for her. Shouts out to Charlize Theron

  • oh no… She’s got Mental Health. Rest in fucking peace bro. Once you got the mental health bro? It’s over. Especially in New York City baby (greatest city in da world)

  • Keanu did great on this one to be honest. Like no one would be stupid or dishonest or enough of a rube to say that Keanu Reeves is a great actor. But he got cast well here.

  • oh fuck. Eddie got Barzooned

  • I don’t remember shit about this movie. Maybe I didn’t actually watch it as a teen?

  • Holy shit, Mary Jane Charlized up her whole Theron. In the greatest city in da world. New York City

  • look. It’s a defense lawyer’s job to represent defendants, innocent or otherwise. Guilty defendants still deserve a defense! If nothing else to advocate for the most suitable sentence. It ain’t like it is in the movies, just, generally.

  • KINSHAAAASAAAAAAAAA Mentioned

  • oh, Al! He really did have so much fun shooting this.

  • #Foreshadowing… Complete

  • I’m actually quite invested in seeing how this ends. This is one of those Good Movies!!! I feel so vindicated thinking this movie was good for years and years with basically no basis.

  • oh my god bro. Al Pacino baby. What a beautiful corny ham he served us all.

  • it turns out the moral of the story is that Florida is Hell.

  • looks like this humble little ol’ country lawyer is gonna have a little ol’ change of heart. The “it was all a dream” ending would usually kinda suck but I kinda like the whole Phoenix Wright face turn of it all.

  • 9.5/10

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What the fuck I thought I was just being droll when I called it a racist movie

I mean I knew it was based on a real story, but DAMN

I also thought it was simply derogatory to think of that schlock as pining, pathetic award bait, and that the awards have long lost whatever credibility they might have had, but, Sandra Bullock fuckin’ won an Oscar for Best Actress? For that? UPDATE: she also won a Golden Globe and a SAG Award!!! What the fuck else came out in 2009? Birth of a Nation 2?

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I saw this last night and had a good time. It definitely looks real good.

I like the Suspiria remake. I think there’s something to the idea of the Peter Jackson’s King Kong school of remakes where you take an already kind of perfect/streamlined story and just spend two more hours extrapolating on it and delving deep into the parts of it that your fanfiction-y freak brain always wanted to see more of. The name Suspiria feels kind of misleading because I think what it really is is a remake of like, the concept of the Three Mothers trilogy

If anybody ever needs to have something on in the background I recommend the director’s commentary for Peter Jackson’s King Kong. It’s basically him word vomiting for three hours about all the backstory and geological makeup of Skull Island and insight into Kong’s thoughts and decision-making process, all this stuff he was clearly really excited about and somehow managed the self-control to let play out mostly visually in the actual movie

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Gaagaagiins Work Watch Movie Review Revue

Draft Day (2014)

A sports “drama” film starring Kevin Costner as some football guy with the Cleveland Browns on the titular Draft Day. Interesting to make a drama movie about a topic that has so little actual drama outside of its own world, at least that’s definitely the case when the narrative is completely fictional. Humorless, dramaless, shockingly trite, mindnumbingly predictable. Feels like Copaganda, and I don’t mean Copaganda but for football, it feels like just Copaganda. Well, okay, it’s also Copaganda for football too.

Gaagaagiins Work Watch Movie Review Revue

I’ve decided that if there are no kids in the site, and I’m doing an overnight, and there’s no one else really making a decision on what to put on the TV, I will try and pick a really good movie I’ve never seen to watch to make the last few hours go by quicker.

I think I started that off pretty hot with:

Annihilation (2018)

Holy guacamole. What a movie.

I think The Big Man himself said it pretty succinctly:

https://twitter.com/HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN/status/973350964173271040?t=8UkAEbn5n_Fn3TklappGAw&s=19

I want there to be a Bloodborne of Annihilation

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I mentioned this in the Movies thread, but, it turns out at my new job there is often a lot of downtime.

I am requesting open submissions from the Insert Credit community for things to watch, according to the following criteria:

Required

  • It’s on Canadian Netflix, or Amazon, or I think there’s also a Disney+ subscription, maybe.

Preferred

  • It’s something “watchable,” if you know what I mean. I mean, I’m not a fan of much slow cinema to begin with, but I guess just consider part of what I’m trying to do here is stay awake nearing the end of my shift.
  • It’s not too reliant on visual fidelity or audio (The TV isn’t great and I can’t put the volume too loud)
  • Movies or miniseries would be best, but I’m open to suggestions for serieses too.
  • Assume even if it was popular or critically acclaimed that I haven’t seen it, I don’t usually keep up with the zeitgeist.
  • I feel like I don’t watch enough documentaries, so, documentaries please!!
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Happiness

Shortbus

Kids

edit: hmmm… Nymphomaniac?

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Hm. Might add another preference for not having anything too sexually explicit… just 'cause there’s always going to be someone else around and I’m ostensibly in a professional environment lol.

I’m just joking, absolutely do not watch those movies at work! (great movies though but very taboo and would probably get you fired if someone walked in)

I don’t know what’s on Canadian Netflix (so I checked here) – for an honest recommendation I’d say… Nightcrawler?

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thought this was the mental health thread for a second

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I dont think we should encourage this guy to slack off. If your leaning you should be cleaning

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FptUn4VaMAAhl86

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There were a few dirty utensils in the sink so I cleaned them and put them in the drying rack. I did it for the children and my pal @yeso

  • The Great Muppet Caper, disney+
  • A Serious Man, amazon
  • Snowpiercer, netflix
  • Matilda (1996), netflix

It was difficult to find things that are available for streaming in canada via those services! Most things I searched for (via justwatch) were spread around a whole bunch of different platforms. None of the documentaries I searched for seem to be available.

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Gaagaagiins Work Watch Movie Review Revue

Nightcrawler (2014)

On a scale from 1 to 10, where one is James Franco and 10 is Ryan Gosling, Jake Gyllenhaal is a 7 (great recommendation, @Tradegood)

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For the record, Snowpiercer is probably exactly the kind of movie I want, something fun and weird with good pacing and an engaging narrative. I know that about Snowpiercer because I’ve seen it, but, maybe it’d be a good one to rewatch soon.

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Screenshot (2009)

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