How hadn’t I found this thread before lol. Ok I started writing this post in a really lighthearted way and then it devolved into some sort of emotional thing, I’ll spoiler that part because I’m not sure everyone is in the mood for reading that and I think it could be triggering, but I’ll leave it here because I’ve gotten a lot out of seeing other people’s experiences here and I want to share mine too.
Mighty Jill Off is a kinky lebian themed platformer inspired by Mighty Bomb Jack. I never understood kaizo games until this game reframed it as “no, she likes it to be difficult”. It’s silly and heartwarming in an odd way.
Life is Strange (the first one) is kinda obvious but also very important to me. I played it around the time I was also leaving my coastal hometown and beggining to explore my sexuality. I don’t think I could say much about it beyond what it’s already been said, it’s very tumblr-esque, earnest to a fault and the series has been run into the ground, but it was essential for building my own perception of adulthood in a time everything seemed at least a little bit scary.
Alter Ego is not necessarily queer, but it’s a game that narrates in second person a whole new life for you. As a trans person, I thought I had grown out of the sadness of skipping formative moments of your life by experiencing in a different gender of your own, like I felt I had made peace with having lived the life I’ve lived and embracing whatever I got as an upbringing. However, a few years ago I played this game and having it put me in the perspective of growing up into womanhood with the usual problems it conveys but without the assumptions and “performance consciousness” that being trans involves broke my heart once again.
I started thinking about this experience playing this game again last week. A few months ago I lost my job, it hasn’t been such a hard time, or as hard as it could be, in a way, it’s nice to have more time to dedicate to my hobbies and projects than I’ve had in years, and also the interviews I’ve had have all gone well. However, this has involved a lot of introducing myself again to new people and, whenever they ask me about times I’ve struggled with my work, I have to stop my brain from going into the transphobic episodes and focuse more on the “difficult tasks I’ve solved”. Sometimes I wonder if they want to hear about those episodes, if that’s what they’re worried about with me. When I called my dad this monday, he asked me if I was “presenting normal or personified” for the interviews, I could hear in his tone that there was no malice in what he was saying, but of course it made me a little bit sad. I started openly/medically/socially transitioning 6 years ago, but people will always see me in contrast of the experiences and the life I lived as a kid.
Still, I try to be hopeful in embracing that I can only live one life and there’s beauty in the life I lived, even if society kind of works in opposition to accepting that, I want to embrace the moments of joy in all of it rather than distance myself from the rough parts.