How many more condom based marketing things were there?
https://twitter.com/KynanPearson/status/528721841146576896?s=19
Imagine you're about to do the business with somebody and they pull out a video game branded condom?
@Moon#29817 there is something that is overwhelmingly anxiety inducing in the idea of trusting Acclaim, however indirectly, with part of exercising one's bodily/reproductive autonomy. Like, never mind imagining initiating sex with someone who whips out a Vexx Branded Condom, imagine having to hold the knowledge that a biological child of yours was conceived because you thought Acclaim cared as much about you having reproductive rights as they cared about you buying Vexx (2003)
One day at Acclaim it was someone's job to find the cheapest condom manufacturer for a particular volume that would put stickers on it that demanded that you VEXX BEFORE YOU SEX
sorry for triple posting (not sorry) but man I can‘t get over being reminded of Vexx (2003). That is some intensely 2003 shit right there. Like I can’t decide what the logic behind Coolguy But Chibi would be besides that they wanted both Kids and Teens to buy the game. It's a perfect example of what I like to think of as boardroom brainstorm aesthetics, something that is clearly trying to appeal to multiple very conflicting demographics at once, an idea or in this case a combination of ideas that it feels like an executive level person decided was worth committing to early on in development, thinking that splitting the difference on appealing to demographics with conflicting desires just means double sales.
Well, I skimmed the wikipedia page, and I'm actually floored to find out that Vexx seemingly started life as a much more overall cute, kid-friendly sounding mascot platformer named _Clip and Mischief,_ which they moved away from because they thought it was too similar feeling to _Jak and Daxter._
All that makes the condom swag even more psychologically distasteful... the 2000s were hell
@Gaagaagiins#29822
so even though it was the late 90's and not the 00's for some reason you have reminded me of the infamous Daikatana "John Romero's about to make you his bitch." advertisement
[URL=https://i.imgur.com/tAFOteU.jpg]
[IMG]https://i.imgur.com/tAFOteU.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
I did a little digging and found two Kotaku stories from 2008 that no longer exist on the Kotaku website (for some crazy reason!) but were archived on the wayback machine.
The first story was about a blog post by Mr. Romero about the (at the time) decade old advertisement
https://web.archive.org/web/20080119054113/http://kotaku.com/345386/john-romero-dishes-on-bitch-ad
>
I got a chuckle out of reading the reader‘s comments on the article. People are now starting to get a clue about how Mr. Wilson operates. Hey everyone, he hasn’t changed in over 10 years — these are the kinds of jackass stunts he pulled at Ion Storm with Daikatana. Remember the bitch ad? Yeah. He also ran ads (“image ads”) that just had pictures of Ion Storm founders, himself and our COO. That was just the beginning of his madness.
>
It got much worse at Godgames where he pretty much just partied all the time and after the whole thing got reined in by Take 2 he went underground for a while, waiting for his next victim/investor so he could go hogwild all over again. And thus was born Gamecock.
two days later Kotaku published this response, which was sent to kotaku as an open letter
https://web.archive.org/web/20080222100555/http://kotaku.com/346816/gamecock-head-tears-into-john-romero-its-getting-ugly
>
Dear John, I‘m writing this letter from Moscow, having just read your lovely post about me, which a good friend forwarded me and implored me to reply to. I really never thought I would relive the joy that was Ion Storm, circa 1997, or that the memories of those times still troubled you so 11 years later. Then again, I would guess you live in the memories of your twenties as much as you can, given the reality of your thirties. Glad to know I’m still in your thoughts.
>
I enjoyed your comments very much, but several of my friends (especially those that were around for those heady time to witness the truth of it up close) did not find it quite so funny, and thought that I should take the time to set a few things straight as publicly as the flame you chose to randomly launch my way.
>
While I am not at all interested in reliving those days, I will also not allow you to rewrite the history of it all, more to your liking and to my public detriment, and I will in no way take the rap for what you did (or didn't do)with your dream company. So here are just a few reminders to jog your memory.
>
While my job title (which you gave me) was CEO of your company, I was one of two “junior partners” in a partnership of 6. I made about 1/3 of what the ‘big boy partners’ (as you liked to call yourselves back then) did and owned less than five percent of your company. I wasn‘t awarded a 250k signing bonus like you were for signing up to your own startup and I didn’t have a personal assistant like you, nor occupy one of the 4 corners of power in the original Ion Storm building. And unlike you, I didn‘t get to file a federal trademark for my own personal catch phrase,“ Suck it Down.” I remind you of these things only to remind you that there was absolutely nothing done by me or Ion Storm, including the advertisements which bore your name and which you happily posed for, that didn’t require your full approval and grand signature.
>
And while I did think that famous Bitch ad was pretty funny, I‘ll remind you that you signed that one too, and I’m fairly certain I wasn‘t holding your hand or using a Jedi mind trick on you when you did it. I’ll also remind you that the whole reason for running the teaser ad was that we felt we should be starting to advertise the game since it you said was shipping so soon, for Christmas in 1997. Even though we had nothing but a logo and that signature promise to use for an ad 6 months before you promised Eidos and your partners that Daikatana would be ready to redefine shooters on shelves worldwide.
>
Our former employee also reminded me that I fought on a daily basis to try to save that company from the poison which you had invited into it (and watched spread like a cancer while you kept your head in the sand), only to find myself ushered out the door, since it was such a buzz kill to hear my incessant complaints about the way things were being run, which were really those of the 80 or so young fresh faced developers we hired in the 10 months I was there. But hey, it was clear that I was the problem there, as you guys really took off the year after I left. Or, more accurately, nearly every one of those 80 hires did.
>
I do owe you a thank you for that little shove to get me started on Gathering of Developers, a company that I was an actual partner of, and which Take Two ‘reigned in’ buy buying for 30 million dollars, two years after we opened an office, which resulted in no less than eight million unit selling PC games and over 350 million dollars in revenue for TTWO (my investors) during roughly the same amount of time that it took you and the remaining ‘big boy partners’ to shit away Eidos‘ (your investors) 30 million and deliver one of the biggest heaps of dung ever put onto a CD Rom, just before being foreclosed on. Thank god for Warren Spector, who was also made a ’junior partner‘, and later delivered Eidos Storm’s only salvation in the form of Deus Ex.
>
And please don't be too concerned for the independent developers I work with… just like with GodGames, and like the deal I struck for you with Eidos, Gamecock owns their IP and is branded above the publisher on everything, and has a great royalty rate. Royalty rates are what you make if you actually make a game that is good and sells. Remember Quake one?
>
I‘m also grateful for your concern over my incessant partying, which has somehow led me to be married to the same beautiful woman for 17 years now, while raising two incredible daughters together. You should maybe try the partying, since your unparalleled work ethic and strong character has (just in the time I’ve known you) left only a bloody trail of ex-wives, fatherless kids, and ill advised breast implants strewn across this fair nation, even before you flew all the way to Romania for your latest wife. If she‘s not still around, let me know, and I’ll see if I can pick another one up for you here in Russia.
>
Its been great catching up, but I'm off to dinner now with Harry Miller, my best friend and business partner for the past decade (ever had one of those, John?), and our very happy new investor, followed by some crazy partying to keep it real, just for you.
>
You take care now, and remember just because id, Eidos, and then Midway fired you doesn‘t mean you’re not still awesome!
>
Suck it down,
>
Your pal Mike
God damn!
two years later in 2010 John would take a little more ownership and apologize for it.
https://kotaku.com/john-romero-is-so-sorry-about-trying-to-make-you-his-bi-5541406
>
“I knew it was risky, and I didn‘t want to do it. It didn’t make sense. I mean, there's the whole culture of smack talk that goes with games and especially the FPSs, and that was something I was known for,” Romero tells Gamesauce magazine.
>
“You know, I never wanted to make you my bitch, not you, not them, not any of the other players and, most importantly, not any of my fans. Up until that ad, I felt I had a great relationship with the gamer and the game development community and that ad changed everything… I regret it and I apologize for it.”
>
“I didn‘t [stop it] and I’m sorry for that,” says Romero. While the game could have been better on a number of levels, that ad and the hype that preceded and followed it was clearly a marketing failure."
ill advised breast implants strewn across this fair nation
Surprised I haven't seen this yet. Found it in an EGM from 2000
[URL=https://i.imgur.com/a3ZVmBE.jpg]
[IMG]https://i.imgur.com/a3ZVmBE.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=https://i.imgur.com/VAdyuzb.png]
[IMG]https://i.imgur.com/VAdyuzb.png[/IMG][/URL]
2 Likes
@Syzygy#29827 I don’t really understand why but this joke is always funny to me in every single situation.
@DavidNoo#29841 
https://frinkiac.com/meme/S07E19/1099198.jpg
Imagine sitting in public reading a magazine, and you open up to any of these we’ve all posted. Good lord.
@Moon#29823
Yeah Mike Wilson is pretty awesome.
The parties they threw at the parking lot across E3(called The Promised Lot) were wild, strippers, little people dressed as Kiss members, all day open bar and food etcetera.
Before Trump got elected he said he and his company would leave for Canada if that clown become president. He stayed true to his word.
going to be honest here, while I don’t like the women hating ads too much, after following this thread I’m starting to like the ass, piss, crap ones
@adamazing#30751 sorry, i couldnt find the “radical magazine ads” thread, so i put this here
oh yeah, @gsk posted this on twitter but I don‘t think it’s been in here yet:
surely this will sell a few saturns.