What I'd Say (To The Hero) (Your NPC Dialog)

So you're just going about your average day and the Hero approaches you.

What aspect of your life / local environment do you bring up unsolicited?

"I love video games! I wish I had more time to play them..."
"Sometimes you can see seals in the water! Best to leave them be."
"There's more to storm drainage than you might think! Unless you've thought about it before..."

I‘d love to be one of those NPCs who gives you a cryptic yes/no prompt for something you don’t have enough context for, and the dialogue doesn‘t reset after the conversation so you can’t see what the other choice would have resulted in.


  • - “Do you like it?”
  • Yes | No

  • - "Yeah, you seem the type..."
  • Something more intrinsic to myself though, which the tread is about, might be something more along these lines:

  • - "Life's not so bad when people like having you around. Just don't overstay your welcome!"
  • - "La, la, la... La, la, la... I wrote that tune myself, you know."
  • - "The world is filled with many incredible people, places, and things... I'd love to go out and see them someday!"
  • “Do you have a GameBoy link cable?”

    (Meaningless yes/no choice)

    "This game doesn't utilize the GameBoy link cable."

    "You found me! I was so sure that nobody would find me in this vat of custard.

    "Here's a tip for finding me - press the A button next to someone to speak to them. Oh, you already knew that? Bye!"

    "Your wardrobe looks a little thrown together.

    ... ...

    I love it."

    I already say “You have a heart of gold… Don’t let them take it from you.” and “Here ya go! Use it wisely!” randomly in real life so I am pretty sure I’d be a merchant, in any case. I’d try to save my entertaining dialogue for the 「repair」 option that no player ever uses.

    I hate computers

    _The KLF were largely misunderstood_

    I actually had a cameo in Dragon Quest VII

    [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/NFshey8.jpeg]

    But if I were to do it again, I think I'd like to be the NPC who hangs around the town's sign and when greeted will say what town you're in

    I’d be working, if the player approached me I’d say “phew, this job is pretty tough. I’m only doing it for my family”

    -“They say there‘s a new hero who’s going to save the world! Is that true?”

    (Yes/No)

    "You shouldn't believe everything you hear, you know!"

    -"My wife is worried I've been sick... it's hard to tell her, but I just really like the taste of health potions!"

    *Note: I am running around in an infinite rectangle, and you need to get in my way to talk to me.

    I would be the townsperson with insane bravado who is in an emotionally abusive relationship with his wife.

    -"I heard [main antagonist] is causing trouble again...I'm thinking I'll head out any day now and put him back in his place!!"

    -"You? You'd turn tail and run at the first sight of battle!!"

    -"(grumble grumble)"

    I‘d be the NPC in the library (preferably on a ladder by the bookshelf) who says, "Not now! Can’t you see I'm busy researching [some obscure and/or needlessly long topic]?" Talk to me enough times, and I kick you off the ladder and into an early bad ending.

    “Have you been to the coffee bar? I might just stop by again!”

    "..."

    "No, why would I be worried about having too much?"

    “You know those frog statues you see everywhere?”

    "Well, I heard you can use those things to save your game..."

    "... Huh? 'Save it for what?' I don't know, I just wanted to sound smart..."

    I‘d be lying motionless on the ground. "There’s no response. It's just a corpse."

    “I can see you’ve killed [exact number of] goblins. How do you feel about that?”

    >

    @“Jaffe”#p52136 “I can see you’ve killed [exact number of] goblins. How do you feel about that?”

    Note that it doesn't say *accurate* number. I like to think you're telling them a slightly higher number of goblins than they've actually killed and that they're talking to you *far* too late in the game to keep track of how many goblins they've killed.

    @“After that rat, another and another.”#p52135 I'd just be a corpse with a journal right next to me in impossibly tiny handwriting font that has a whole explanation of how this was the one big score and then I was OUT, but it cuts off mid sentence

    I‘d be the guy who stands right at the entrance of the city to tell you what city you’re in, except I'd be like:

    "Welcome to LA! It's really not a good idea to be here for any reason, you should downsize."

    THIS IS A PC ENGINE CD-ROMROM GAME YOU DUMBASS WHY DID YOU PUT IT IN YOUR AUDIO CD PLAYER DON’T DO EVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN