What would happen to a man who played "bad" games as often as possible

And that man's name?

_Albert Einstein._

Your Rules:

Suggest a videogame/fan game/ROM Hack in this thread according to the following criteria:

  • - It is available for free on some kind of digital games distribution platform (I primarily use Steam, I begrudgingly have Epic Games Store installed despite loathing it, I could conceivably dredge up my GoG PaSS, I have an itch.io account) or the developer's own website

  • - Dangerous criminals known as "software pirates" could hypothetically find it and an emulator to run it on via Vimm's Lair or other such websites
  • - The above, roughly, but if it's a ROM Hack or something of that nature, a dummy could figure out how to install it
  • - It would not require enormous computing power
  • - It does not require any sorta weird peripherals, either a mouse + keyboard or a regular controller
  • - I might do mobile games but I may decide not to, so, recommend them knowing I may decide to not play mobile games in general
  • - Most important rule: It **_sucks_**
  • What the final rule means is up to you, but if you jokingly pretend a game you know I like sucks, I will intentionally disregard your comment (and some day we shall settle that when I see you in hell)

    #### My Rules:

  • - I will play that game for a minimum of 30 Minutes (time subject to change depending on how much these games suck, and time already has changed, for a secret reason, from 1 hour)

  • - Until I beat it (in case this is a tiny baby game)
  • - Until I completely "get it," with the caveat that I am a really smart guy who gets a lot of stuff
  • - I won't stop if I'm having fun
  • - I will post a screenshot and a review of some substance (for the record, ["shit sandwich"](https://twitter.com/michaelwarbur17/status/1523771325009264642?lang=en) despite being fictional is a review of some substance)
  • - I will choose the games strictly in order of submission
  • - The only reason I will not play something is if I cannot get it to run
  • - I will like all submissions in my heart but I will bequeath them a Forum "Like" to keep track of my progress
  • #### _Let's see what happens_


    ### Games Defeated


  • -

    Spot Goes to Hollywood (1995) for the Sega Genesis

    Suggested by @pasquinelli

    RATING: >!7.125-Up out of 10 (Really bad)!<

  • -

    _Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon_ (2003) for the Game Boy Advance
    Suggested by @ana
    RATING: >!IX Rise of Skywalkers out of IX!<

  • [img height=70]https://i.imgur.com/ESymy6K.png[/img]
    [color=gold]_~"Bury me with my posts"~_[color=black] - **Tastefully yours, Gaagaagiins of the Abyss <3** [color=gold]**#boycottbigbelt**

    spot goes to hollywood for genesis.


    Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon for the GBA

    [upl-image-preview url=https://i.imgur.com/5FvVD91.jpeg]


    [upl-image-preview url=https://i.imgur.com/5JSURij.jpeg]

    i'm just over here thinking of bad games, accumulating quite a trough full of trash.

    I don't like these games:

    Chubby Cherub (Nintendo Entertainment System)

    Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde (Nintendo Entertainment System)

    Hydlide (Nintendo Entertainment System)

    Broadly, I don‘t like saying that a game sucks. Even in most games which people tell me are bad I’ve found value, interesting ideas, or ambition. It's very rare that I walk away from something with a true distaste for it. I probably think about Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero more than any reasonable human being.

    That being said Blasto sucks
    [upl-image-preview url=https://i.imgur.com/H2S1tIZ.png]

    I'd be remiss to recommend anything besides Urban Yeti

    pinobee, specifically the gba version



    The only bad games I can think of at the moment are movie tie in games on the NES, so here we go.

    Dirty Harry

    I won't mention anymore for now. Best of luck to you on this endeavor.

    Rock-Climbing: Mitouhou e no Chousen for the PS1.

    On the basis of the crush of submissions, and for a secret reason, I am going to reduce my absolute minimum playtime to 30 minutes.

    i wonder how low we can get that number.

    _wacky worlds creativity studio_ for the genesis

    @“pasquinelli”#p94946 As a recreational chiptune composer, I‘m very curious about the tracker that’s in that package. I'm going to investigate and report back.

    As a fan of the [Threatening Music Notation twitter account](https://twitter.com/ThreatNotation), that keyboard makes me physically sick.

    As a participant of this thread, I am obligated to recommend _Romancing SaGa Re;univerSe_, a gatcha game so bad, I uninstalled it in less than a day. I apologize in advance.


    @“antillese”#p94955 As a recreational chiptune composer, I’m very curious about the tracker that’s in that package. I’m going to investigate and report back.

    brace yourself for disappointment. the game is basically a videogame stickerbook. that could be cool, but they seemed to have made certain that it isn't. with music the stickers are little chunks of songs, and each sticker is atomic. you can't write your own music, you can't cut up and rearrange theirs. they give you little tiny songs and you can put them in a playlist.

    ***edit*** it's a genuinely insulting game. the people who made that failed children.


    @“antillese”#p94955 Romancing SaGa Re;univerSe

    For the _secret reason_ I may also not play mobile games. Which is sad with regards to the objective of playing bad games, as so many mobile games are truly the trash tier of the trash tier of trash tier trash



    i once got the ball stuck in place for 2 minutes (until the timer ran out), which was pretty funny

    (probably don’t play for 30 minutes, i don’t want to go to jail for cruel/unusual punishment)

    @“pasquinelli”#p94958 I looked into it on YouTube after learning about it and got mad. :angry: People can write all sorts of neat stuff in Mario Paint! Why doesn't Sega want us to write FM synth tunes???

    @"Gaagaagiins"#p94961 I mean... you're not missing out. The best part about the game is it's bizarre branding and spelling. "_Romancing SaGa Re;univerSe_"? OK boomer. You're capitalizing like a GOP troll on twitter again.

    #### Spot Goes To Hollywood

    ##### Platform: Sega Genesis
    ##### Approximate Progress: Beat 1 World, consisting of 3 Levels, out of 4
    ##### Screenshot: For a _secret reason,_ this portion of the rules shall be momentarily suspended
    ##### Time Endured: Approximately 41 minutes


    I promised myself that were I to undertake this silly project of playing bad games on purpose, that I would not go in with the intent to be a hater. I would try and be positive, or try and have fun, or find good things about the game.

    Gamers, friends, @"pasquinelli"#461 has come out strong at the front of the pack with a vicious, for-the-throat attempt to thwart that fun-loving, innocent endeavour.

    _Cool Spot Goes To Hollywood_ really, powerfully sucks. I am flabbergasted at the notion that EGM, of all publications, gave it 7.125 out of 10.

    The objective in the game is to, first of all, undertake really bad isometric platforming, which is Strike 1. Then you have to collect... Spots? Like the little red 7-Up dots, but, they're not persons like Cool Spot is. You have to collect 60% of the Cool Spots in each level to be able to beat it (I think), which is a weird way to communicate that metric, but that's how it's expressed in the game, so, sue me. Strike 2 is the implication that these things are Cool Spot's larvae. Strike 3 is because the composer of the soundtrack is Tommy Tallarico.

    The game alternates between white knuckle difficult with enemies with hit scanning and aimbots sniping at you with bubbles or some such thing, that can only be damaged by spamming (again isometric) projectiles out of Cool Spot's mouth into the enemy's front, and take like 10 hits of damage before dying. Or, the enemies are just patrolling around in a circle not even acknowledging your existence, or motionless.

    Unlike Tim Rogers wrt _Landstalker_ (a game I also did not like for this very reason) I loathe the imprecision and vagueness of perspective in isometric platforming. It took me a lifetime of playing and re-playing _Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars_ to be able to learn how to enjoy rather than just grin and bear the platforming, and mercifully that game is not a platformer. I didn't encounter more than one section in this game with a "why the hell am I not landing on this platform" moment, but, I did have to fall and retry it like 7 times.

    Also, the inclusion of an _exploration based swimming level_ with Mario style jump-to-swim-up-a-bit-otherwise-sink controls, and, yeah, iso-perspective different levels of elevation and the same hitscanning enemies, was about as bad a decision as putting a Z-axis in Bad Rats 2: The Show.

    Contribution from my partner: The fact they had to call him Cool Spot instead of just Spot is an admission of failure... "Admirable Disk"


    ### Rating: 7.125-Up/10 (but also this game sucks really bad)

    ##### For a _secret reason_ this endeavour will continue soon with _Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon_ for the Gameboy Advanced!

    ### Cokémon