Describe a game plot poorly

Inspired by my realization earlier tonight that you can describe the plot to Kingdom Hearts II as “Nihilist terrorist cell wrecks havoc on Disneyland” Go nuts!

  • The Gift of the Magi, but the gift is the ancient gods slumbering within them. Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Dysfunctional Australian lesbian won‘t accept responsibility for the deaths she’s caused. Final Fantasy XIII
  • “Siri, why didn’t you tell me anything about these secret government bioweapons?” *Metroid Fusion
  • Rock-a-Doodle, but more tropical and with alternate timelines.Chrono Cross
  • In a world of a thousand fursonas, the only thing beyond the pale is a man. Meremanoid

(OK, I'm just gonna post the read now. I'm coming up with way too many of these.)

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@“Video Game King”#p158321 Animal collector thwarted by blue-in-the-face activist who foregoes using a knife. >!Sonic the Hedgehog!<.

  1. goth lolita and twink sidekick get woke
  2. Nerd has to learn space guitar to stand up to his bully
  3. hacker downloads psychedelics to rescue digital waifu
  4. boy scout becomes secret agent/gonzo therapist
  5. Duck, You Sucker! if Rod Steiger were a shounen protagonist and rode a dragon and James Coburn were a hot immortal cyborg
  6. Dale Cooper won’t shut up about his Toyota Celica
  7. your father is an alcoholic, go have fun
  8. your father is an alcoholic, try to have fun
  9. taking “late-bloomer” to the next level, loser conscript doesn't make anything of himself until he is literally dead
  10. mute flapper and her sword bf go on the lam, learn programming
  11. Guess this 20-year-old series: in the distant future, rollerblading is cool again.
Summary
  1. NieR: Automata
  2. Gitaroo Man
  3. Rez
  4. Psychonauts
  5. Panzer Dragoon Saga
  6. Flower, Sun, and Rain
  7. Katamari Damacy
  8. Papo & Yo
  9. MediEvil
  10. Transistor
  11. Jet Set Radio/Future

Space family goes on space vacation, gets space separated. Opoona

Space chicken little but with more interspecies banging Mass Effect

“pick up the trash, son” Katamary Damacy

Twin peaks for teens with lots of queerbaiting. Life is Strange I haven't played the game since it came out, so I might be misremembering

A guy wore a yellow hat which caused all of China to fight itself

A devoutly religious and casually racist athlete realizes he was indoctrinated and kills his god by throwing a ball at him Wakka, Final Fantasy X

guessing games from this thread its a lighting round in the making

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Mountaineering gone woke Celeste

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A nepo baby dresses up like her great-grandfather and time travels to rig a competition that makes her Dad the king. She sticks around to sleep with one of her Dad's friends, but decides she needs to kill the book nerd in his army. Lucina, Fire Emblem Awakening

  • A slacker and his roommate have to beat up a game show host before she gets plastic surgery. Banjo-Kazooie
  • Young boy has his first gay experience searching for the girl he just met. Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon
  • “It's either me or the horse.” Shadow of the Colossus
  • What if Obama was an anime girl who was dating Aladdin? Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
  • (ROT13'd to keep it safe for work.) Ybpny jbzna trgf pnhtug wrexvat bss, qrpvqrf gb ghea vg vagb na betl. Cute Demon Crashers

Mute undocumented immigrant undergoes a dangerous entry into a foreign country, gets tired and takes a long nap, and simply for even just wanting to practice their own culture is marked for death by two world leaders (including an honest-to-goodness royal), two homicidal, blade wielding royalists, a know-it-all technocrat, a rogue A.I., and a con artist

Chrono Trigger

A foster father rescues the child under his care

Lisa: The Painful

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@“Video Game King”#p158434 Young boy has his first gay experience searching for the girl he just met.

Y tu mamá también: el juego oficial de la película

Dedicated and passionate people with a keen interest in history literally can't even have hobbies anymore, because of woke!!!

Darkest Dungeon

You‘re from out of town and you’ve got all night to kill one baby. Bloodborne

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It‘s "You Don’t Mess with the Zohan" with one letter changed but just as many Judaic references. Xenosaga Episode 1

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Young boy becomes closer with his sister after a trip to the library. Nier