Discuss Your Favorite LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG Videogame Titles

video games
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This is that long-form discourse that Insert Credit is known for! (No, not really.)

Let’s talk about games that have official titles that wouldn’t fit on a CVS receipt (and would barely fit in a Tim Rogers article). Which ones feel the best to say aloud? What is the longest one you’ve played? When is a title too long? (Never, probably. Right?)

How long is long? Well, a good ground rule would be longer than “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” (28 characters) or “Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare” (30 characters). Let’s say 35 characters or more. This rule will not be enforced.

Of the long-titled games that I’ve played, the most fun to say alound is:

  • Street Fighter III 3rd Strike: Fight for the Future

I think it’s the “three-third” transition combined with the alliterative “Fight for the Future” at the end. What a title!

It’s probably cheating, but the longest-titled game I’ve played is:

  • Tales of Game’s Studios Presents Chef Boyardee’s Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa

It’s an obvious parody of long titles, so if that doesn’t count, I’ll go with:

  • Cadence of Hyrule - Crypt of the Necrodancer ft. The Legend of Zelda

It’s like a title sandwich! Three game titles in one. If nothing else, this game brings tremendous titles-per-title value.

The longest-titled game that I’m planning to play at some point is:

  • Tear Ring Saga Series: Berwick Saga: Lazberia Chronicle Chapter 174

Honestly, I’m not in love with this title. Maybe it’s the use of “Saga” twice, or maybe it’s just that I wonder if I need to play the other 173 chapters first.

So what are some of your favorite, least favorite, and semi-favorite long titles?

P.S.: I found this funny:

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Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age S - Definitive Edition for the Nintendo Switch

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There’s also Tear Ring Saga: Chronicles of War Hero Yutona

and Faiā Emuburemu: Ankoku Ryū to Hikari no Tsurugi - or - Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light

Kaga is like George Lucas when it comes to naming things, its just one of the things he never really got

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Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days is an interesting case because it doesn’t look all that loooooooooong, but saying it in full out loud turns it into the considerably longer (and worse) Kingdom Hearts Three-Five-Eight Days Over Two. Does its pre-pronunciation form qualify as a semi-favorite? Nah

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Was it a misstep that Capcom vs. SNK 2: Mark of the Millennium 2001 didn’t feature an original character named Mark?

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Street Fighter III: 2nd Impact - Giant Attack is right up there with Third Strike.

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The Xenosaga titles are pretty fun.

Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht
Xenosaga Episode II: Jenseits von Gut und Böse
Xenosaga Episode III: Also sprach Zarathustra

I don’t even particularly like or dislike Nietzsche, but I appreciate titles that

  • challenge the ability to pronounce them, especially for someone asking a store clerk about the game
  • are in another language, so we get to learn what some new words mean
  • use a roman numeral
  • use a pseudo-academic colon to provide the illusion of actually explaining what the game is about
  • get gradually more and more “what?” as the series goes on
  • imply other video game titles (esp. Jenseits von Gut und Böse - Beyond Good and Evil), given the way game titles copy from common sources. If the series had continued, such Nietzsche quoting could have implied a connection to Sonic the Hedgehog: Xenosage Episode IV: Eine Weisheit für Igel (A Wisdom for Hedgehogs).
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Peter Jackson’s King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie.

There’s a lot of good ones that are long because of some wacky sense of gravitas for the lore, but I love this one because of the sheer audacity of the corporate branding. Bonus points for actually being a pretty solid, well made game despite the soulless title.

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Metal Gear Solid Two: Sons of Liberty, and the slightly longer Metal Gear Solid Four: Guns of the Patriots

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Sorry for the double post but this deserves a spot on its own: Advanced Dungeons and Dragons: The Treasure of Tarmin

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I think my fave will always be: Mon-Yu: Defeat Monsters And Gain Strong Weapons And Armor. You May Be Defeated, But Don’t Give Up. Become Stronger. I Believe There Will Be A Day When The Heroes Defeat The Devil King.

Very light novel feeling.

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got a big kick out of saying like a dragon gaiden the man who erased his name in full whenever I talked about there game last year

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I just remembered a title that beats everyone’s, including @coffeentacos’:

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Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman! What Did I Do to Deserve This?

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The Great American Cross-Country Road Race basically tells the premise of the game right there:

  • It’s a road race
  • You travel cross-country
  • It’s across America
  • It deigns to be great

@Video_Game_King - that one is a prime one for Games With Full Sentences as Titles

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Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games takes up nearly the entire spine which is pretty great

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For a tiny little console with tiny little carts, the NGPC has some long titles:

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SNK vs Capcom Cardfighters’ Clash: Capcom Card Fighters Version

I also like Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon

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This is another gag title, but there’s Yeah! You Want “Those Games,” Right? So Here You Go! Now, Let’s See You Clear Them!

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As a real Zero Escape Booster, I have a progression to a title that I am doubting is as long as most of the others here. My Uchikoshi appreciation began with Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward, which is a slightly wordy title, but I feel like it exists pretty cleanly with Zero Escape as the series name (although it is absent from both of the other entries) and Virtue’s Last Reward as the subtitle.

The follow up series started with AI: The Somnium Files. I love this name; I really enjoyed becoming familiar with the word somnium, first fictionally and then outside of the game. I saw there was going to be a sequel, and I was hyped for the AI series to continue. The sequel was named AI: The Somnium Files - Nirvana Initiative. This title is not so long, but it is a complete mental mouthful. I frequently notice when the syllables or emphases of words feel counterintuitive to my speech, and I usually experience the same sensation when thinking or sometimes typing the word. None of the words in this title are particularly hard to pronounce, but they flow into each other very poorly. I always feel the restarting of the phrase when I speak or think Nirvana Initiative

I think my own experience with this title is just that I would have expected the follow up game to be simply called AI: The Nirvana Initiative. The title as is adds up to too many words with too many syllables.

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