I am an 8 year old boy that was left at this store while my mother runs errands. One of those errands being a manicure. I am here for 5 hours. I knock over the Wii display. I leave in silence.
(This is a true story from my time at GameStop. I have more I will be parsing out.)
wait, whatās that you say you have?
ā¦
to complete my shelves of funko
i only need one more thing
a certain gecko of geico,
all mine after the registerās āringā
(this character is an amateur poet funko pop collector)
@Bbtone rings you up
Alright, one Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World for Nintendo Wiiā¦ Sorry for the waitā¦ Oh, and hereās a freebie bonus for you.
holds up homemade sticker of squirtle in sunglasses and a kimono and drops it in the bag
My friend made these.
@NoJoTo Wow. Iāll give you my employee discount on any item in the store if you write a poem about xbox.
reaches in pocket and removes two $20 bills, one $10 bill, three $1 bills, two dimes, and four pennies and places them all on the counter (I calculated the sales tax before I came to the store)
thankyouhaveaniceday
walks quickly to the exit, tries to push through the door marked āUSE OTHER DOORā
oh
exits through the other door
walks in with giant bag of gold
hello i would like to buy this establishment and turn it into a final fantasy style tavern
I am an employee working the launch event for World of Warcraft: Cataclysm at midnight.
My manager in being a swell guy buys everyone Buffalo Wild Wings.
The unkempt customers who preordered the expansion begin to come in.
For the next 3 hours everyone meekly eats their chicken wings in dead silence, all equidistant from one another, staring at the floor until the game releases.
stares at the floor
Wow, it really smells like chicken wings in here. Anyway, Iām looking for a copy of Animorphs: Shattered Reality for ps1, please and thank you.
wait, youāre an xbox fan??
ā¦
me and him had been good friends for years
until once, we drank too many beers
he confessed to me
an xbox, had he
āps2ās best!ā i shouted through tears
@MoH Oh, were you looking to buy shares of stock? Thereās an automated vending kiosk for that in the corner. Iām not sure I can sell you the store, but Iām happy to give you the ownerās cell phone number.
Also, I know the space next door is empty and up for rent. Wouldnāt mind some neighborsā¦
@kyleprocrastinations Thatās the chicken wings!
We should have that one over in the Animorphs sectionā¦
points over by the stock kiosk
right behind the shop cat.
shop cat stretches out and looks over at you
@NoJoTo :') Itās beautiful. Anything you want, 10% off.
goes back to slapping on labels for drop shipments and returns
please, just give me the funko in a bag
and weāll have done business without a snag
hangs around outside the door asking customers if theyād like to go for a cold pint of ale next door
Animorphs sectionā¦ Shop catā¦ tears well up Itās perfect. Iām home.
Excuse me. Can you please direct me to your Wonderswan section?
Sure thing, those are right behind the shop swanā¦ Points to other side of kioskā¦
Swan makes intense, unflinching eye contact.
The room spins.
Prepare for battle!
looks like iām the tank.
swigs a tanker of ale and a eats sampler platter (sub all sauces for ranch) from the pub next door to buff defense
(as iām walking out the door, i hear the commotion, and turn back to look)
ah, screw it
i can always buy, later, some more kitsch.
if youāll permit,
iāll distract it with an insurance pitch.
(i pause for a moment, nod my head, take out my geico gecko funko pop, and take my first step towards the swan)
miscalculates the length of @NoJoTo 's insurance pitch and briefly leaves fight to get more sides of ranch
(stuffing my face with Sven & Oleās at the mall food court)
(i take another couple trepidatious steps forwards)
uh, hey there, you, very aggressiveā¦ wonder swan
you surely own, uh, stuff, right?
(i hold the geico gecko funko pop next to my head, and start pretending itās speaking)
āgot fifteen minutes, with which i can ramble on?
save you money, it just mightā¦ā
(i stop moving, and very nervously glance around me to see if anyone else is going to get involved)
