games store Improv Zone

i follow nojoto asking to be his page and squire

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uh, you can go stand over there
and guard my shelves of funkos fair
(i walk out of the store with moh, and direct them to my collection or funko pops. i set my golden geico gecko funko pop down in the center of the collection, on a little podium. i feel content)

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stares inscrutably at the floor

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* walks in kind of weirdly quickly, surveys all of the non xbox sections of shelves, makes eye contact with nobody (but does scootch carefully around dicegame), leaves as quickly as I came *

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walks from the cafe across the way into the game store, makes eye contact with no one, and slips a handwritten list of the 100 genres Sonic is in between Shenmue and Skies of Arcadia.

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I’m here from corporate. Those Geico funko pops were such a hit, we are launching an entire line of insurance company mascots. I’m here to deliver 1000 The General Car Insurance pops.Finally a brand that cares as much about quality as we do. Bizdev synergy at it’s finest.

I’ll go ahead and shred these used games so we can sell the microplastics to livestock feed companies. Thanks!

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nervously approaches nojoto
my lord…the enemy forces….they’ve brought in specialists of war

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hey I heard ya’ll got those new General pops but I don’t see them on the shelves

can you check and see if they’re in the back

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don’t worry, they can’t breech our fence
they have no will, no sentience

besides, one’s defected to our side
and sits above on top these shelves wide

(i show moh that i already have a the general car insurance funko pop in my collection, and explain patiently that they aren’t actually alive)

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take my leave with a wry smile and ask the serfs tending nojoto’s fields (a landscaping service their neighbors hired) if they knew our liege was so wise and temperate

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Hello, do you have any of the limited edition ā€œProgressive Flo with a Mustache Disguiseā€ funkos?

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(a different character; i’m a cinephile who wants to get into games, after detroit: become human taught me that games could be art)
hey, just walking in, couldn’t help but overhear you guys got buster keaton’s the general (1926) figurines? oh, they’re not for buster keaton’s the general (1926)? oh well, anyways, i was actually coming in to see if you guys have any more games that are really, truly, art? like, i just played detroit: become human and boy, do you have any more games like that? like, i’m not talkin’ ā€œsuper baby man,ā€ or ā€œbaby o’clock shoot-em-up,ā€ or ā€œlittle wittle baby simulatorā€ or whatever you got, but true cinema, true art, you know?

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puffing a comically large cigar

Ah so it’s art the kids want these days? Hmm all we have are these Aflac duck funko pops.

Maybe it’s time we get into this whole boutique publisher business. It worked for GameStop and just look at how their stock is doing.

Someone get me David Cage on the phone, and post a craigslist ad that we’re publishing indie games. Think about it, we could be the brick and mortar version of the Epic Game store. :moneybag::moneybag:

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Well now I want these to exist.

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(Is shopping while wearing a duster.)

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thinks it looks cool

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Ugh. In my day PokĆ©mon wasn’t so expensive.

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ya’ll have those state farm pops yet

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Walk into store
Stand by the cabinet containing Magic the Gathering cards
Look at prices
Leave store…

Likely repeat this process the next weekend

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Physical issues of Game Informer all on clearance (actual thing I saw).

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