games store Improv Zone

(Steals cards.)

4 Likes

Walks in holding crumpled note written in glitter crayon

Uh, hello. My daughter says she wants


squints at note


Nintendo Weed games?

10 Likes

calls @treefroggy on store intercom

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Takes all my clothes off


Screaming at the sky:
“YOU RANG??? YOU RANG!!!”

  • mother 2
  • Animal crossing
  • Shiren the Wanderer
5 Likes

we’re closed

2 Likes

A clerk with a green apron on shoos customers away with a wide brush broom. She then pushes the walls of each game display around - on the back is polished dark wood panels and green walls. With the pull of a chain, the middle displays sink into the floor and round tables and stools glide from the ceiling. In front of the register, she pops a panel up from the floor to reveal an elaborate facade that folds over the counter to make a bar top. She pulls the heads off of several of the Funko toys to reveal bottles and pulls out some glasses from under the counter.

“After hours game bar is open.”

4 Likes

Walks in

I’ll have an iced tea on the rocks.


and do you have any Game Informers I can use as a coaster?

1 Like

* walks in kind of weirdly quickly, surveys all of the non xbox sections of shelves, makes eye contact with nobody, leaves as quickly as I came *

4 Likes

Hi, I’d like to pay you $13 for the shot of Captain Morgan and 3/4 oz of Midori that you call “The Yoshi” while also paying you $25 to play Mario Kart [1] with my friend on the SNES Mini you have set up over there.

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“Coming right up!” She pulls out a Fallout-themed AriZona iced tea can, pours into a square glass, and pulls out from under the counter what looks like small rocks. If touched, the glass is cool to the touch. In two quick motions she sets a Game Informer from May 2022 down and then the glass.

She nods at the newcomer. “We’re all out of Midori, but I have some Giffard if you don’t mind The Spyro. Just $7.”

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i walk into the store with my hands dangling down by my legs, one hand carrying dvd copies of bladerunner and ocean’s 11; i stand slightly off to the side of the entrance, so as to allow others to walk in, and gaze back and forth a little cursorily. i, evidently not having found what i wanted, then walk up to the counter, where i’m greeted by an employee who looks awfully similar to @billy.
holding up and spaying out like cards the dvds of bladerunner and ocean’s 11 with one hand, then pointing at them with the other, i ask “hey, do you know of anybody who makes games like this?”

2 Likes

“Yes sir!” he said, missing the point entirely. “Most games come on discs these days!”

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“thank you for your help” i say, before leaving the store, walking a block away, then changing out of my disguise to reveal i was hideo kojima all along.
“what’s the point?!” i wonder aloud

5 Likes

ya’ll got those jake from state farm nendoroids yet

4 Likes

* walks in kind of weirdly quickly, surveys all of the non xbox sections of shelves, makes eye contact with nobody, leaves as quickly as I came *

6 Likes

(adds another tally to The Document)

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Hi. I would like to pre-order a Nintendo Switch 2 please. I have money. I would like to give you this money so that me and my family can play the new Mario Kart together. I know that this is an edge use case because the primary use case seems to be short-term consumer electronics speculation via eBay, but I am an actual human, I would like one (1) console bundle and I would like to have it in a reasonable time frame without having to drive all over town or attempt to defeat a DDOS attack on your website.

Can you help me?

5 Likes


 Uh, yeah, we have a few slots. Can I have your phone number?

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The mysterious customer paused. ‘That seems fair’ he thought to himself, but he knew his phone number wouldn’t fit neatly in this unsuspecting retailer’s computer system. Nonetheless this was his real phone number and he really did just want a Nintendo Switch 2 with the Mario Kart game and one of those webcam things so he could talk to his friends while he played the Mario Kart game and maybe a Pro Controller because he never bought one for his Switch 1 and always meant to.

“Is the phone number completely necessary?” he asked in one final attempt to get out of the awkward data entry predicament.

“Yes sir!” said Dwayne. The assistant’s name was Dwayne. This was clear from his name tag, which said ‘Dwayne’.

“Fair enough”, the mysterious customer submitted. “My telephone number is
”

4 Likes


 written here on this business card along with my name and email. Now you have everything you need to lock in this preorder, right?

4 Likes