The Insert Credit Cookbook (the recipe thread)

I thought it would be nice to have a thread where we can collect recipes together in one place. I know I've posted a couple in different threads across the forum, and on the off chance somebody wanted to find one of them again it would not be obvious how or where to start searching.

Rather than retype them here, I will instead start by linking to:

I think it would be nice (and also safer, with respect to potential copyrights) if we limited ourselves to posting recipes either we have developed, or at least modified or tweaked somehow – rather than just republishing favourites from other sources. Linking to other sources should be fine, but I‘d love to see some Insert Credit food collected here! There are a few things I have seen mentioned across the forum (from quite a few different people!) that I’d love to see details for, but I am not going to call anyone out here where they may not be comfortable for any reason.

It wouldn‘t be right if I opened this thread without posting a recipe! Here’s something simple to start.

This is vegetarian, but unfortunately not vegan. I‘m not sure what a good replacement for condensed milk would be - maybe coconut milk with some added sweetener like agave or maple syrup? I haven’t tried that yet but might give it a go! There are good and easy substitutions for the rest of the ingredients, I believe.

Chocolate Mint Slice

Prep Time: 2 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 1.5 hours
Servings: look, I'm not going to tell you how much chocolate to eat but this should last a while


1 pack Marie biscuits
110 grams butter
1 mint chocolate block (180 grams where I am)
1/2 can condensed milk
20 grams white chocolate
green oil-based food dye (optional)


Crush the biscuits.

Melt butter and chocolate with condensed milk in a small saucepan, be careful not to burn the chocolate.

Remove from heat, mix with crushed biscuits in a mixing bowl until evenly distributed.

Line a sheet pan with baking paper, then press mixture in an even layer.

Refrigerate until set.

Melt some white chocolate, mix with green oil based food dye. If using dye, it is critical that it is oil-based. A water-based dye will break the chocolate and you'll have a total disaster on your hands.

Drizzle over top of slice as decoration, then cut in to squares of desired size (around the size of individual pieces from a chocolate block is a roughly good guide).


Marie biscuits might be known as Maria Cookies (or a few other names) depending on where you are in the world. See the wikipedia page for them to confirm you have the right thing.

I use this block from Cadbury, anything like it should be fine

I use this block from Cadbury, anything like it should be fine

yep! I've made vegan condensed milk our of coconut milk (also works with coconut cream) and agave syrup before.

Also expect some recipes from me here soon. I just have to translate them first.

umm I made atápakua this week and was thinking about how to spin it so it would fit in the unorthodox take on food thread. It turned out great (the second time hehe), although I think I used too much black pepper. Also I kept the guajillo seeds in.

I had to borrow my friend's immersion blender and now I really want to get one for myself.

I‘ve found it difficult to find coconut cream before, but a tip I’ve seen before is starting from something like coconut milk powder and using that to thicken coconut milk until you get it to the desired consistency. There‘s also creamed coconut but I’ve never actually seen that before.

Shouts out to coconuts… what a magical plant

“Bury me with my posts” - <3 Tastefully yours, Gaagaagiins of the Abyss <3 #boycottbigbelt

@Gaagaagiins Another thing you can do is let a tin of coconut milk settle and do not shake it before you open – the solids and the water will separate and you essentially have half a tin of extremely rich coconut cream you can thin thin out ever so slightly with some of the water from the tin.

This evening I didn‘t feel particularly interested in any of the leftovers I currently have in my fridge or freezer. I felt like a soup, so I threw this together quickly. This is an iteration on something I have tried earlier, and it is getting pretty close to where I want it. I figured I might as well type this up and share it – if/when I make any future changes I’ll either update this posting or create a new one.

As long as you use a vegan stock (today I used two tsp of Vegeta powder to make the 4 cups of stock) this recipe is vegan.

Lentil, Rice, and Chickpeas Soup (v0.8 beta)

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 50 minutes
Servings: 4-6, depending on portion size


1/3 cup whole red lentils
1/2 cup rice
1 can (400g) chickpeas
1 can (400g) diced tomato or 1-2 whole fresh tomatoes
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium brown onion, diced
2 inches ginger, grated or minced
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp coriander powder
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp turmeric powder
1/2 tsp dried red pepper flakes
1/4 tsp msg (optional)
1 tbsp nutritional yeast
4 cups stock
2 cups water, plus an extra splash
1/2 tsp tamari
1/2 lemon, juiced
2-3 tbsp olive oil
freshly cracked black pepper
green onion, freshly chopped parsley, or freshly chopped coriander


Rinse the rice and lentils, then put them in a bowl and cover with water to soak while you continue prep.

Dice the onion, mince the garlic, grate or mince the ginger.

If using fresh tomatoes, dice them.

Place a large pot over medium-high heat, and add olive oil to cover the bottom of the pot (I didn't measure but it is about 2-3 tbsp worth for me). Once the oil is shimmering, add in the onion and a pinch of salt. Sauté the onion, stirring frequently, until it starts becoming soft and translucent – about 3-5 minutes.

Add garlic and ginger to the pot, reduce heat slightly to help prevent burning. Sauté for a further couple of minutes continuing to stir frequently.

Lower the heat to medium, and add the chilli powder, coriander powder, curry powder, red pepper flakes, and msg (if using). Stir for about 30-60 seconds, until the spices become fragrant.

If stuff has started sticking to the bottom of the pot, add a small splash of water to help deglaze. You could also use a splash of a dry white wine for this, or some cooking sake.

Add the tomatoes to the pot. If using a tin, pour a bit of water into the tin to help clean it out and add that to the pot. If using fresh tomatoes, add about 1/3 cup of water to the pot. Stir to mix, and raise the heat back to medium-high. Put the lid on the pot if it is starting to splatter, and stir every minute or two until the tomato mixture has cooked down a bit and combined with the onion and spices. This step took me about 5-7 minutes in my pot on my stove and with the tin of tomatoes I was using.

Drain and rinse the chickpeas. Drain the soaking rice and lentils.

Add the nutritional yeast, rice and lentils, chickpeas, stock, water, and tamari. Stir, and bring to a boil. Once boiling, lower heat to low, stir to make sure nothing is stuck to the bottom, then put the lid on and simmer for approx 20-30 minutes until the rice and lentils are cooked and have about doubled their size and absorbed a bunch of the liquid.

Take pot off the heat, stir through the lemon juice. Taste, and adjust seasoning if desired. If your stock is low-sodium you may need to add extra salt.

Serve in a soup bowl, garnished with freshly chopped herbs (coriander or parsley work well) or green onion, some freshly cracked black pepper, and a drizzle of olive oil over the top. Pairs well with a baguette or some other favourite bread of yours.


I used Jasmine rice today, but have used Basmati in a prior iteration and that also worked well.

The tamari can easily be replaced with either a light soy sauce (not a chinese dark mushroom soy, they are often sweet and we're after the umami here), coconut aminos, or maggi seasoning.

The msg is optional, it helps with the savoury/umami flavour but if you are not comfortable using it then it is fine to omit. Perhaps add an extra pinch of salt, or a splash more of the tamari/aminos/maggi.

I wanted to mix through a good bunch of fresh herbs while it was cooking, but had forgotten that I was completely out. Another option I will experiment with is adding some chopped kale for the length of the simmering process. I will also try adding celery, I think that should work well.

@rejj holy heck this sounds real good. gotta try it and report back! thanks for sharing, rejj!

Roasty Veggies, Esper Style

Prep time: 10 minutes, 20 if you're smokin weed
Cook time: 40 minutes
Total time: around an hour
Servings: serves 4, or serves the hell out of 2 plus leftovers


half 16oz bag carrot chips
1 12oz bag broccoli
1 lb petite gold potatoes (any potato will do, really)
1 12oz bag brussels sprouts (chopped in half
half an onion
olive oil
basically any seasonings (I use garlic salt, MSG and pepper as base, then add other stuff if I feel like it)
i also add fresh rosemary but this isn't necessary


preheat your oven to 400

chop potatoes and other veg into bite sized pieces

toss all ingredients in a big bowl, and pour the olive oil in. make sure everything has a little bit of coating on it, then

add seasoning and keep tossing until you feel pretty good about it

okay, I have a bunch of half-sized sheetpans i bought from a restaurant supply store. i lay foil out on them, but you could easily use a large standard sheet pan here. spread everything out as much as you can to get even cooking.

roast in the oven for 20 minutes

pull it out of the oven, shift everything around a bit (switch position of the two pans, if you have two of them) and put it back in for another 20 minutes


in the one above, I chopped up an andoullie sausage and put that in (before roasting, but after oil and seasoning. an andoullie sausage does not need additional oil). i really recommend throwing in or removing anything that works for you, this is just the Veg Combination I like most. other proteins I've tried include chicken and steak, but it works completely vegetarian as well.

happy cooking!

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I‘m sure I’ve mentioned it before (most likely in the goulash post) – my family hails from Austria. My grandparents fled Europe after World War 2 and emigrated to Australia with their children (my parents). My cousins and I are the first generation born in Australia, and as such we all grew up eating a lot of traditional Austrian cuisine.

Here is the current version of the family schnitzel. It is no longer 100% “authentic” however I believe the changes and adaptions over the years are improvements. Also it is typically made with pork or veal, however these days I‘m using tofu, mushroom, eggplant, or a cauliflower steak. I haven’t yet tried pressing a schnitzel together out of rehydrated TVP, but maybe I‘ll give that a go soon. I’m interested if anyone has any other ideas for non-meats to try!

This recipe includes ingredients and instructions that allow for meat-based, vegetarian (using eggs), or vegan preparations. Over the years I have made and enjoyed them all.

People often seem to be intimidated by the thought of making schnitzels, but it really is quite easy! Please don‘t be worried about the length of this post/recipe, I tend to write recipes more verbosely than most and I’m also including variations here.


Prep Time: about 30 minutes
Cook Time: about 20 minutes
Total Time: just short of an hour
Servings: 4


Meat / Protein:
2 large skinless chicken breasts
4 skinless, boneless chicken thighs
4 pork butterfly steaks (these are just cut from pork sirloin, you could do that yourself also)
1 head of cauliflower
2 blocks of firm tofu
4 large, flat mushrooms (eg portobello)

plain flour
3 large eggs
1.5 tsp dijon mustard
cayenne pepper
panko crumbs
1/2 - 2/3 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/2 cup chopped parsely (fresh or dried)

Wet batter (if not using egg wash):
1/2 cup plain flour
1/2 - 3/4 cup plant based milk (I usually have oat)

Extra stuff:
cracked pepper
garlic powder
lemon pepper
sumac (optional)
canola or vegetable oil
butter (optional)


Meat / protein prep:

If using chicken breast: Cut chicken breast approximately in half by length, so you have a smaller thin end cut off and the bulk of the thick end as the larger piece. Butterfly large pieces, you can leave them butterflied but I usually cut them all the way through to make more, smaller schnitzels.

If using thighs: Trim off any large bits of fat that might still be there, but don't worry about needing to trim every little bit off. Leaving some fat on the meat is fine, it will render/melt when cooking and help stop it from drying out anyway. If the pieces are large you can cut them in half.

If using pork butterfly steak: Halve steaks through the join in the middle so you have two medallions from each, then butterfly medallions.

Pound out meat to an even thickness of approx 1cm - 1.5cm.

If using cauliflower: Slice lengthwise through the core to create 4 cauliflower steaks.

If using tofu: You‘ll get the best result from freezing and thawing the tofu beforehand. Actually, double-freezing is the best: freeze, thaw, freeze again, then thaw before using here. You can do all of this still in the container, you don’t need to pierce and drain it first. Once thawed, if you like you can also press the tofu but I'm not entirely sold on this step myself. Slice the blocks through the thin dimension into three even thickness slices each.

If using mushrooms: Just give them a good wash or scrub with wet paper towel to remove any dirt. If the stalk is long, chop it to be flush with the cap or just break it off.

Season your protein of choice with salt, pepper, lemon pepper, and a little bit of garlic powder. About half of the time I will also use some sumac. On tofu you'll want to be a bit more generous with the seasoning.

Crumbs prep:

Arrange 3 large bowls or containers. Anything with a flat bottom is preferable. Baking trays, plastic tubs, large flat bowls, anything of that sort.

Add flour to the first container. You won't need a huge amount, maybe 1 cup? I never measure this, I just pour it in.

If using eggs: Crack eggs in to second container. Add dijon mustard, sprinkle in one or two shakes of cayenne pepper. Mix everything together with a fork until combined.

If not using eggs: Add the wet batter ingredients to the second container. You want this to be fairly thin, as it is not a frying batter but rather the middle layer here, replicating the function of the egg wash which sticks to the flour on one side and the crumbs stick to it on the other. Similar to the egg wash, add a few shakes of cayenne pepper and mix everything until well combined.

Add panko crumbs, parmesan, parsley to third container. You‘ll need a fair bit of crumbs, maybe 3 cups? I never measure this either, but they get used surprisingly fast. Add a few good grinds of cracked pepper, and approx 1tbsp of garlic powder. Mix everything together with your hands. There’s a lot of room for improvisation here, and the parmesan is totally optional if you are not using dairy. You can add onion powder or other seasonings, and other herbs to the crumbs if you like.


I like to use a wooden skewer to transfer pieces between containers to help avoid getting a whole bunch of stuff all over my fingers. You can go for the “wet hand / dry hand” technique if you like, but a skewer or even just a fork makes it quick and easy to work through.

One piece at a time, put your protein in flour bowl and pat down to ensure an even covering of flour on all sides. Shake off excess flour.

Transfer to egg wash or wet batter, flip over and ensure an even covering. Pick up and hold vertical over bowl to allow excess egg/batter to drain off.

Transfer to crumbs, shake and pat down to ensure even coating of crumbs all around. Set aside on a plate or platter.


Add oil to pan or skillet to give approx 1cm covering. If you‘re using butter, you can put a little bit less oil in and chuck a knob of butter to melt in also. If you’re feeling decadent you can use only butter and not bother with the oil at all (traditionally in Austria they are done in either butter or schmaltz, which is rendered goose fat). Heat on medium until the oil starts to slightly shimmer. Take a tiny pinch of crumbs from one of the schnitzels and drop in the pan, if it starts bubbling right away then the oil is ready.

Working in batches, place 1 or 2 schnitzels in pan (depending on what fits, you don‘t really need to worry about overcrowding but you need to make sure each piece sits flat and isn’t riding up the walls of the pan) and cook until crumbs have turned golden brown, probably approximately 4-5 minutes. Turn, cook until other side is golden - this side will likely cook faster, check around 3 mins. Lift above pan to let excess oil drip off, transfer to a plate or tray lined with paper towel or a resting rack if you have one.

Serve with a green salad, and a lemon wedge to squeeze some lemon juice over the schnitzel. I also like rice with schnitzel, but you can do chips, or veggies, or a potato salad, whatever you feel like as sides really. They're also great with some Japanese curry, or even a gravy.


The traditional/authentic breadcrumb to use is not panko, but rather a very fine, unseasoned crumb. This results in the whole crumb layer forming a much more homogeneous surface, which then usually lifts off the protein entirely creating almost a balloon of breadcrumbs. I much prefer the taste and texture of using panko crumbs, and adding seasonings to them.

Leftover schnitzels will keep well in the fridge for a few days. I can't tell you for how long because I always eat them long before there is any threat of them expiring in the fridge. They can be reheated in a dry pan over medium heat for a few minutes, turning them every minute or so… or just eat them cold or make a sandwich from them.

One option I go for while seasoning my protein sometimes is to make a baste or marinade out of miso paste. I‘ll put a spoon of miso in a small bowl, sometimes also a small amount of gochujang if I’m feeling like I want something spicy, and then add oil and stir until it makes a thin paste/marinade. I'll brush that over everything before dipping in the flour.

Here’s a pic I have of some prepared tofu, before cooking

@rejj I’m gonna give this a shot with tofu!

This one's a little fast and loose, any spices are to taste but I recommend pouring on the heavy side.

Miso Pumpkin Soup

  • 1 pie pumpkin

  • 1 onion

  • 6-8 carrots

  • several cloves garlic

  • 32 oz chicken stock (or any stock)

  • kosher salt

  • chili powder

  • paprika

  • cumin

  • celery seed

  • cinnamon

  • nutmeg

  • bay leaf

  • turmeric

  • ground red pepper

  • 3 Tbsp brown miso paste

  • 3/4 cup milk (cow and oat are best)

(For a soy-free soup replace miso with a mixture of 1 Tb tomato paste, 2 Tb fish sauce. Or you could even use cooked anchovies if you are feeling wild and free.)

  1. Roast, peel, and slice pumpkin according to instructions found online. Be careful, very hot. Set seeds aside.

  2. Add pumpkin to a large pot with onion, carrots, garlic, stock, salt, spices, and miso (or soy substitute.)

  3. Add some olive oil, cover, bring to a boil then lower and simmer for half an hour.


  5. Add milk and blend. (If you don‘t have a blender, or better an immersion blender, well, maybe it’s good unblended! I don't know!)

  6. Serve topped with parsley and a drizzle of olive oil.


  1. If you‘re cooking with a whole pumpkin you really should roast the seeds while the soup’s on the stove.

  2. Clean the guts off the seeds and pat dry.

  3. Mix them in a bowl with some olive oil and a mixture of the above spices, maybe leave out the celery seeds and turmeric.

  4. Roast @ 350 F for 15-ish minutes. Good topping for the soup.

@DavidNoo update, I'm on the 2nd tofu thaw. It takes a long time to thaw!

@rejj I tried this out! I had trouble with my tofu freeze. It took forever to that which was odd and was still pretty watery. Ooops! But I did get a nice crispy side to it and the seasoning was good! Brought up old memories, haven't had anything like that in awhile. I think I will try again with Cauliflower and butter instead of oil. Thanks for sharing!!

@DavidNoo whenever I’m thawing tofu (or really anything I don’t want to wait a day with it in the fridge) I place it in a big bowl of water (eg salad / mixing bowl size). Change the water out after 30-ish mins, once it has become ice-water cold.

Water is a significantly better thermal conductor than air, and the package / container / sealed ziplock bag (depending on what item is being thawed) being in contact with the water — or submerged if it is sealed — will speed up the processes greatly.

@exodus Can we get that gravy recipe mentioned in one of the podcast episodes?

I made this yesterday, and served it with some schnitzels (I did tofu this time), rice, and a salad. I figured I might as well write it up here; not every recipe must be complex or a full meal!

I‘d intended to make a sauce using Marsala, only to discover that I didn’t have any. I had some Madeira however, so I figured that'd work well also.

Marsala (or Madeira) Mushroom Sauce

Prep Time: 2 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 22 minutes
Servings: about 4 serves spooned over whatever you are serving it with


400-500 grams sliced mushrooms
3 tbsp butter
2 tbsp flour
1/2 cup Marsala or Madeira
2 cups stock
1/2 lemon, juiced
small amount of chopped parsley


Clean the mushrooms, and thinly slice them. You could dice if you prefer, but I prefer slices of mushroom in the sauce rather than small diced bits.

Melt the butter over fairly high heat in a wide saucepan (if you use a pot it will still work but everything will take longer due to lower surface area). Add the mushrooms with a generous pinch of salt, and sauté until they have evaporated off all their water and have browned a bit. (about 8-10 mins in my pan on my stove)

Reduce the heat to around medium, and add the flour. Stir and cook the flour for about 2 minutes or so, forming a roux.

Add the wine and the lemon juice (I started with about 1-2 tsp of juice), stir well to combine everything. This should thicken up fairly quickly (15-20 seconds).

Add the stock (I used a vegetarian “chicken style” stock), stir well to combine everything and deglaze the bottom of the pan if anything has started to stick. Add a couple of grinds of pepper, then raise the heat again and let the sauce simmer down to a thick, saucy consistency. You‘ll need to stir on occasion, but it won’t require constant attention. This took about another 10 mins on my stove.

Taste test for seasoning, adjusting salt, pepper, and lemon juice to your preference. Take the pan off the heat, and stir through your chopped parsley.


This worked well with the Madeira, and I‘ve made it often in the past with Marsala. I’ve never tried it with a sherry, so cannot comment on if that would be ok or not – however my suspicion is that may not work out too well.

Non-dairy butter works just fine here (it‘s what I used) but I wouldn’t use just plain oil instead; you want some of the richness from the butter.

I like using brown mushrooms, but just about anything would work. I wouldn't waste expensive King Oysters or whatever on this though.

Hummus info

I finally got my hands on a decent food processor and made hummus for the first time in a long time.

I use a lot of roasted garlic when I make hummus. I'm a fancy kitchen gadget boy so I have an immersion circulator, which means I can make a whole lot of roasted garlic confit at once. I run it for hotter than directed by recipes and for longer while also suspended in olive oil, mainly because of the remote but deadly risk of botulism poisoning in garlic (botulism apparently does best in oxygen starved environments such as inside a bag during sous vide). In any case, I ended up with a bunch of incredible dark golden brown garlic cloves and some bonus roasted garlic infused olive oil.

I didn‘t overcook my chickpeas quite enough as in that video as I also don’t have access to powdered citric acid as used in the video, but to me some slightly gritty hummus is not the end of the world. I normally season hummus with some salt, some black pepper, cumin, and this time I added about the same amount as the cumin in half hungarian paprika and half cayenne pepper. I've accidentally made hummus that was WAY too spicy too many times from just underestimating what enough cayenne pepper powder can do so this was a surprisingly pleasing way to get a nice bit of spice while also getting that nice flavour still.

As for the other ingredients: the olive oil was nothing special, and my main criteria for choosing between brands of tahini is to buy something that doesn't just have English on the packaging and has at least some Arabic script and that serves me just fine, but I did squeeze the lemon juice fresh (pulp and all).

Fuck………………………… I forgot how much I love good hummus!!! I guess it‘s a sign that the hummus is good if I’m trying to swipe the thick layer of hummus off of the food processor blade carefully with my finger so I can just eat it directly.

i was also recently trying stuff with hummus and i added some roasted beets to my hummus. the texture isn‘t the best since I don’t have a good processor and i just make it in the blender, but the flavor is quite nice. and i like that it kinda looks like a watermelon the way i garnished it

@穴 ooo yeah I can imagine roasted beets in hummus being very tasty.