Goofy stuff from your life

On a walk yesterday I saw a City utility employee in his white City work van (parked, with door open) rocking out with an amplified bass guitar, playing along to some music he had going (Amyl and the Sniffers, I had to look it up from the lyrics).
Good for that guy!


every time. never gets old

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An old guy at work sent me a request for information from his client. Instead of just asking me for the document or forwarding the email, he printed out the email, scanned the printed sheet, and then emailed me the scan of the request (???). What makes this even crazier is that the customer had just sent a wordless email with a photograph of someone holding a phone to the camera with a picture of what they needed. The only reason you could even tell it was a request was that the email header was “do you have this.”


This is a fantastic example of why my mom thinks “computers are so complicated.”


Walked into the winery bathroom and there is a big bowl of corks.

Am I supposed to take a cork? And do what with it? I mean, the implications…

Am I supposed to already have a cork… on my person… and deposit it?!





They help with moisture. I mean, I hope that’s what they’re using them for because my brain refuses to think of any other intention.

The branding really doesn’t help the imagination…

they just probably have a lot of extra corks laying around


usually i see those in glass cases from wine moms who collect them, the moisture part is new to me

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at target and walked into an aisle where one of those short, skinny, nervous dads you sometimes see was there with his maybe 10 year old daughter. He was waving his arm at the chips and saying to her “I need some feedback about this. Do you have any feedback?”



I want to laugh but that was me recently.
On a family vacation (all adults, for the record) I was the only one willing to make decisions about where to go, what to do. Everyone else would kick their feet, look away, not have any input.
I finally lost it in the chip aisle of the grocery store.
“I don’t want to pick the @$#! chips! I don’t care about chips! Someone else just pick some chips!”

Not saying this is acceptable behavior, of course


I just sold 20 corndogs in two hours to a gay speed dating event. are corndogs erotic? shoutouts 2 my fellow homos


life in tha big city update:

last night some kids were making a racket running around the alley yelling “skibidi toilet” at each other. First time I’ve heard that irl

Today on the red line this lady got on, sat down, then started smoking crack. Everyone got up and moved to the other side of the train car (fair enough). But then what can only be described as “a male karen” pressed the emergency call button and said “someone’s smokin crack in here” in the 100% stereotypical SNL superfans accent. You don’t hear that much these days since the generation that talks like that is dying out

that’s how it goes in this concrete jungle


it appears that even men have to deal with unrealistic beauty expectations


Also I saw this


My three year old just learned the word zoom but when she says it it sounds like doom so now she’s just running around the house giddily yelling doom everywhere she goes.


Reminds me of when I was younger, my brother and I were fighting over who got to watch what on the TV. I was trying to compromise, all I wanted was to watch the episode of Seinfeld that was coming on and he could have it for however long, but he wouldn’t budge and I was getting angrier and angrier.

My sister walked in just as I shouted, “I JUST WANT TO WATCH… HALF AN HOUR… OF SEINFEEEEEEELD!!” and she was on the floor laughing. My brother and I started laughing too after realizing how ridiculous it all was.


I’ve been a little under the weather from a not so serious, but very persistent throat injury. I’ve been eating anesthetizing lozenges and drinking teas. I can’t feel anything and everything tastes of elderberries.

Anyway, that led me to downing an entire carton of yogurt, only to realize too late that it was moldy. Now I’m in bed waiting to see what happens next.

(No photos from me because it is a little gross.)


yogurt is probiotic so uh, maybe it’ll even out!?